SIR F. Comfortably tucked in there (_pointing to couch_), to be roused from the land of dreams when the proper time arrives with this implement (_taking a long feather brush_). Sure you've got your part in this little domestic drama by heart? Rehearse! ARTH. "Loveliest of women," "emotions," "agony," "Seringapatam," "despair," "Pegwell Bay"-- SIR F. Keep on going over it, like the multiplication-table; but hang it, man, don't look as lively as if you were waiting in a dentist's back parlor! (_Suddenly._) Here comes my wife! (_hurriedly hiding behind curtains_). _Enter LADY FRITTERLY at L. H., carrying a smoking-cap._ LADY F. (_seeing VALLANCE_). Mr. Vallance? ARTH. Lady Fritterly! (_bowing_). LADY F. (_aside_). The ball is about to open! (_Aloud._) Won't you be seated? (_seating herself at L., ARTHUR moving a chair to some distance from LADY F., and seating himself_). A lovely morning, is it not? (_beginning to work at the smoking-cap_). ARTH. Delicious! LADY F. Quite cool and pleasant! ARTH. (_aside_). I feel quite hot and _un_pleasant! LADY F. By-the-bye, do you know where my husband is? ARTH. (_fidgeting on his chair_). Not exactly; but I believe he's somewhere or other, or if not there, somewhere else. SIR F. (_who has peeped out, listening_). Idiot! (_hiding again_). LADY F. (_observing the movement of the curtain. Aside_). He's there! traitor! (_Aloud._) I'm sure I ought to feel deeply grateful to him for leaving so agreeable a substitute. SIR F. (_listening_). That ought to encourage him! ARTH. (_aside_). It's time I began, if I'm going to begin at all! (_Suddenly, and clasping his hands._) Oh, Lady Fritterly, pardon my agitation; but agitated as I am with the agitations that agitate me--the agony, the despair-- (_Aside._) I shall stick fast presently; I know I shall! SIR F. (_listening_). That's better. ARTH. But say--say you forgive me! LADY F. Forgive you! for what? (_insinuatingly, and moving her chair nearer to ARTHUR, who draws his back_). ARTH. For the confession which, alas! (_here a very deep sigh_) I am about to make. LADY F. Continue, I beg! ARTH. Oh, madam, dear madam, dearest madam, if you only knew _all!_ LADY F. Hall? A gentleman of your acquaintance? ARTH. I didn't say _Hall,_ madam! Let me observe, Lady Fritterly, that this is no subject for levity. LADY F. No one would imagine it was, from your countenance, Mr. Vallance. Its solemnity is positively, painfully ludicrous! SIR F. (_listening_). Why the deuce don't he open his batteries?