LADY F. But alas! for every one of his dismal jokes that _you_ hear _I_ am doomed to listen to a hundred! Is it to be wondered at, then, that I should pant, _crave_ for a change?--(_gradually getting more excited_)--that I should find the temptation you offer me too great to resist? ARTH. (_aghast_). Eh! what? You don't mean to say you consent? LADY F. Of course I do! (_with enthusiasm_). What woman _could_ resist the Sandwich Islands, and _you_ for a companion! In five minutes expect me here on this spot. Give me but time to pack up my jewels, a dozen or two dresses, and a sprinkling of hats, and I'll be with you, my Arthur! (_Going--stops._) You won't mind my bringing my favorite little pug-dog, of course you won't--(_going--stops again_)--and a couple of kittens--a thousand thanks--and you won't object to putting the parrot cage under your arm? I thought not. [_Runs hastily out at L. H._ (_During the above scene COSEY occasionally shows his head above the back of the couch and withdraws it again._) ARTH. A parrot cage under my arm all the way to the Sandwich Islands! (_Shouting after LADY F._) Stop! madam, Lady Fritterly, don't hurry yourself; take your own time--one hour, two hours, six weeks, any time you like. Wheugh! here's a pretty state of affairs; catch me running off with another man's couple of kittens--I mean wives--no, _wife_ again! (_thrusting both hands into his trousers-pockets and walking violently to and fro, then flings himself into a chair at L. SIR FELIX hurries down and drops into a chair at R. COLONEL rolls off the end of couch enveloped in antimacassars, and seats himself in chair at C. All pull out their white pocket-handkerchiefs, and indulge in extravagant business, etc._). ARTH. (_not seeing them_). Poor Sir Felix!--a pretty kettle of fish _he's_ made of it! I've been too fascinating! SIR F. (_coming hurriedly down_). Don't talk nonsense, sir! But of course this is all a joke! Why don't you say it's all a joke? ARTH. It's anything but a joke for _me!_--all the way to the Sandwich Isles with a parrot cage under my arm!--how would you like it? SIR F. Pshaw! you carried the thing too far, sir!--a devilish deal too far! ARTH. Come, I like that! I only did what you told me!--except that I didn't tear my hair out by handfuls! COL. (_counting his pulse_). A hundred and twenty at the very least! (_tossing a couple of pills into his mouth--then to VALLANCE_). Now, sir, what do you mean by making love to Lady Fritterly, and proposing an elopement to her? It's scandalous, sir! ARTH. Not the slightest doubt about it, uncle! but I only did it to oblige Sir Felix! COL. _Oblige_ Sir Felix by running off with his wife? ARTH. Yes! in order to show you what a _desperate_ dog I had become, so that you might put me out of the way of temptation by consenting to my marriage with Myrtle! But now--(_with a deep sigh_)--that's all knocked on the head! SIR F. How so?