ARTH. Because, my dear fellow, your wife having accepted, I am bound, as a man of honor, to run away with her! COL. (_turning to SIR F._). Of course, as a man of honor, we're bound to run away with her! ARTH. A lady--(_here COLONEL turns to him_)--for whom I entertain the highest respect! COL. (_turning to SIR F._). A lady for whom we entertain the highest respect! ARTH. But--(_here COLONEL turns again to him_)--for whom I don't care two pins! COL. (_turning to SIR F._). But for whom we don't care two pins! SIR F. (_fiercely to COLONEL_). You needn't be insulting by associating Lady Fritterly with that paltry amount of haberdashery! COL. (_feeling his pulse_). I shall be in a raging fever presently! (_two more pills_). What's to be done? (_To VALLANCE._) Recollect you've got to ascertain when the next train starts for the Sandwich Islands! ARTH. Hang it, Sir Felix! can't you suggest something? I look to you, with your extravagant devices, to extricate me! COL. (_to SIR F._). Yes, sir! We insist on your extricating us from your extravagant devices! SIR F. Well, I confess I've made a slight mistake this time, but all isn't lost. Lady Fritterly will be here directly, when I flatter myself she'll hear something to _her_ advantage--(_looking off at C._) Here comes Myrtle!--couldn't be better! Now then, hide yourselves--both of you! ARTH. Certainly not! COL. Certainly not! ARTH. Another of your infernal schemes! If this fails, I really _shall_ do something desperate! (_During this SIR FELIX has been edging him up towards curtains, and at last pushes him behind them at R._) COL. (_in a helpless tone_). My system won't survive this sort of thing! I'm sure it won't. SIR F. (_hurrying down_). Now, colonel, on to your couch before Myrtle sees you! (_edging him up towards couch_). COL. (_resisting_). But I don't want to go to sleep! I'm thoroughly wide-awake. SIR F. Nonsense! (_forces COLONEL on couch, and heaping pillows over him_). COL. (_showing his head_). Tuck me up if you like, but, confound it, don't smother me! (_keeps rising, SIR FELIX pushing him down again at each attempt_). ARTH. (_putting his head out from curtain_). Sir Felix! COL. (_showing his head above couch_). Sir Felix! (_SIR F. seizes the nearest pillow and throws it at COLONEL'S head_). SIR F. Silence! both of you! _Enter MYRTLE at door L. H._ MYRT. (_laughing aside as she enters_). Ha! ha! poor Sir Felix! Grace has told me all, and I am to humor the joke, while she watches the result from the conservatory! (_During the following, until LADY F.'S entrance, the COLONEL shows his head occasionally above the back of the couch, but withdraws it again at a sign from SIR FELIX._) SIR F. (_aside_). Now for it--(_coming down--takes MYRTLE'S hand, and in an exaggerated tone of grief_). Myrtle! Myrtle! in me you behold a broken-hearted husband!