_SKRUFF enters hurriedly, holding his handkerchief to his face; he wears a white hat, red scarf, white waistcoat, cutaway coat, and very gay trousers; carries an umbrella._ SKRUFF (_walking up and down_). The young vagabond deliberately put his toe on a loose stone and squirted half a pint of muddy water into my eye! I saw him do it. He must be an old hand at it too, or he wouldn't have taken such a good aim; but, luckily, I spied his name on his basket, and if I don't spoil his trade for potatoes in this establishment my name's not Skruff! (_Takes out a note-book and writes in it "Spronks."_) There! and now, Spronks, my boy, look out for squalls! Some people may like being insulted with impunity--I don't. SALLY (_who has been following SKRUFF to and fro the stage, at last stops him by the coat-tail_). Now, then! what's your business, young man? SKRUFF. "Young man!" SALLY. If you've come for the water-rate--or the gas--or the sewers--you must call again! SKRUFF. Water-rate! Gas! Are you aware, young woman, that you're addressing a gentleman? SALLY. You don't mean it? Well, that's about the last thing I should have thought of! It only shows one mustn't always judge by appearances. SKRUFF (_with importance_). I happen to be a friend of your master's. SALLY. Well, I _am_ surprised--'cause master's so very particular--then how came you to ring the servants' bell? SKRUFF (_aside_). I never _shall_ get out of that habit--been used to it so long, I suppose. (_Aloud._) Is Mr. Gritty down? SALLY. Can't say, I'm sure, sir--but I know he ain't up. SKRUFF. Oh! at what time does he usually get up? SALLY. Well, sir, that depends; but, as a rule, I've observed he usually gets up about his usual time. SKRUFF. Does he indeed? (_Aside._) There's a flippancy about this young woman I don't like. (_Aloud._) Perhaps the young ladies, Mr. Gritty's nieces, are down? SALLY. Can't say positively, sir--but I know they ain't up. SKRUFF (_aside_). I shall not interrogate this domestic any further. (_Aloud._) Will you inform Mr. Gritty, with my compliments, that I have called to see him? SALLY. Certainly, sir--but-- SKRUFF (_impressively_). I repeat, Will you inform Mr. Gritty that I have called? Do you think you can manage that? SALLY. Well, sir, don't you think it would be as well just to mention the name? Do you think you can manage that? Shall I take your card, sir? SKRUFF. Yes! (_taking out card-case_). No! (_Aside._) Cards cost a shilling a hundred. Why should I waste one on people I've hardly ever seen. (_Aloud._) You can say--"Mr. Samuel Skruff." Do you think you can remember that? SALLY. "Skruff!" Not likely to forget it, sir--such an aristocratic name. (_Bringing forward a three-legged rustic seat._) Like to sit down, sir? GRITTY (_heard from house at L._). Sally! My shaving water!--hot! all hot! SALLY. Coming, sir! [_Runs into house L._