American wit and humor; Caricatures and cartoons -- United States; United States -- History -- Humor
In 1676, one hundred years before the Colonies declared themselves free
and independent, a rebellion, under the management of a bright young
attorney named Bacon, visited Jamestown and burned the American
metropolis, after which Governor Berkeley was driven out. Bacon died
just as his rebellion was beginning to pay, and the people dispersed.
Berkeley then took control, and killed so many rebels that Mrs. Berkeley
had to do her own work, and Berkeley, who had no one left to help him
but his friends, had to stack his own grain that fall and do the chores
at the barn.
Jamestown is now no more. It was succeeded in 1885 by Jamestown, North
Dakota, now called Jimtown, a prosperous place in the rich farming-lands
of that State.
Jamestown the first, the scene of so many sorrows and little jealousies,
so many midnight Indian attacks and bilious attacks by day, became a
solemn ruin, and a few shattered tombstones, over which the jimson-weed
and the wild vines clamber, show to the curious traveller the place
where civilization first sought to establish itself on the James River,
U.S.A.
* * * * *
The author wishes to refer with great gratitude to information
contained in the foregoing chapter and obtained from the following
works:
The Indian and other Animalcula. By N. K. Boswell, Laramie City,
Wyoming.
How to Jolly the Red Man out of his Lands. By Ernest Smith.
The Female Red Man and her Pure Life. By Johnson Sides, Reno,
Nevada (P.M. please forward if out on war-path).
The Crow Indian and His Caws. By Me.
Massacre Etiquette. By Wad. McSwalloper, 82 McDougall St., New
York.
Where is my Indian to night? By a half-bred lady of Winnipeg.
[Illustration]
CHAPTER IV.
THE PLYMOUTH COLONY.
In the fall of 1620 the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth during a
disagreeable storm, and, noting the excellent opportunity for future
misery, began to erect a number of rude cabins. This party consisted of
one hundred and two people of a resolute character who wished to worship
God in a more extemporaneous manner than had been the custom in the
Church of England.
They found that the Indians of Cape Cod were not ritualistic, and that
they were willing to dispose of inside lots at Plymouth on reasonable
terms, retaining, however, the right to use the lands for massacre
purposes from time to time.
The Pilgrims were honest, and gave the Indians something for their land
in almost every instance, but they put a price upon it which has made
the Indian ever since a comparatively poor man.
Half of this devoted band died before spring, and yet the idea of
returning to England did not occur to them. "No," they exclaimed, "we
will not go back to London until we can go first-class, if we have to
stay here two hundred years."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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