It was not that he did not appreciate the offer of his friend. The crowd
alluded to were well enough no doubt--clerks and subordinate officials
who had gradually formed a sort of international coterie who met in a
wing of one of the consulates. Indeed, one of them lived in a house not
far from himself on the hillside at Bairakli. But he was in a mood just
now which made him reluctant to mix with those highly sophisticated
beings. He wanted to go home. As he steered his launch through the
entrance of the tiny harbour and made straight across the Gulf towards
the eastern end, he was thinking that for the first time in his life he
had a home. And she had done it! With a cool indomitable will she had
set about it. He knew he could never have achieved this felicity by
himself. She had held out her hand for money and he had handed it over
to her. If she had not watched he would not have had nearly so much, she
told him, and he believed her. That was the key to his mood. He crouched
in the stern of his boat and kept his eyes upon the house, a white spot
against the steep brown slope of the mountain. That house, rented from a
poverty-stricken Greek who had left most of the furniture, and an old
woman, who had lived all her life in the village, as servant,
represented for Mr. Spokesly his entire visible and comprehensible
future. This was another key to his mood. It was as though he had
suddenly cashed in on all his available resources of happiness,
hypothecating them for the immediate and attainable yet romantic
present. By some fluke of fortune he could see that he actually held
within his grasp all that men toil and struggle for in this world, all
that they desire in youth, all that they remember in age. But he had no
certainty of the permanence of all this, and he lived in a kind of
anxious ecstasy, watching Evanthia each day with eager hungry eyes,
waiting with a sort of incredulous astonishment for the first shadow to
cross the dark mirror of their lives.
As it must, he told himself. This could not last for ever. And sometimes
he found himself trying to imagine how it would end. To-night he was
preoccupied with the discovery that each day, as the end approached, he
was dreading it more and more. He had tried to explain this to her as
they walked in the garden under the cypresses and looked across the dark
waters of the Gulf, and she had smiled and said: "Ah, yes!" She was
still a mystery to him, and that was another grief, since he did not yet
suspect that the mystery of a woman is simply a screen with nothing
behind it. She smiled in her alluring inscrutable way and he held her
desperately to him, wondering in what form the fate of their separation
would appear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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