Complete Short Works of George MeredithMeredith, George
General
Complete Short Works of George Meredith
Meredith, George
English fiction -- 19th century
There was the Monk in his brown hood and wrapper, confronting--if he
might trust his balls of sight--the red-hot figure of the Prince of
Darkness.
As yet no mortal tussle had taken place between them. They were arguing:
angrily, it was true: yet with the first mutual deference of practised
logicians. Latin and German was alternately employed by both. It
thrilled Farina’s fervid love of fatherland to hear the German Satan
spoke: but his Latin was good, and his command over that tongue
remarkable; for, getting the worst of the argument, as usual, he
revenged himself by parodying one of the Church canticles with a point
that discomposed his adversary, and caused him to retreat a step,
claiming support against such shrewd assault.
‘The use of an unexpected weapon in warfare is in itself half a victory.
Induce your antagonist to employ it as a match for you, and reckon on
completely routing him...’ says the old military chronicle.
‘Come!’ said the Demon with easy raillery. ‘You know your game--I
mine! I really want the good people to be happy; dancing, kissing,
propagating, what you will. We quite agree. You can have no objection to
me, but a foolish old prejudice--not personal, but class; an antipathy
of the cowl, for which I pardon you! What I should find in you to
complain of--I have only to mention it, I am sure--is, that perhaps you
do speak a little too much through your nose.’
The Monk did not fall into the jocular trap by retorting in the same
strain.
‘Laugh with the Devil, and you won’t laugh longest,’ says the proverb.
Keeping to his own arms, the holy man frowned.
‘Avaunt, Fiend!’ he cried. ‘To thy kingdom below! Thou halt raged over
earth a month, causing blights, hurricanes, and epidemics of the deadly
sins. Parley no more! Begone!’
The Demon smiled: the corners of his mouth ran up to his ears, and his
eyes slid down almost into one.
‘Still through the nose!’ said he reproachfully.
‘I give thee Five Minutes!’ cried the Monk.
‘I had hoped for a longer colloquy,’ sighed the Demon, jogging his left
leg and trifling with his tail.
‘One Minute!’ exclaimed the Monk.
‘Truly so!’ said the Demon. ‘I know old Time and his habits better than
you really can. We meet every Saturday night, and communicate our best
jokes. I keep a book of them Down There!’
And as if he had reason to remember the pavement of his Halls, he stood
tiptoe and whipped up his legs.
‘Two Minutes!’
The Demon waved perfect acquiescence, and continued:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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