You bid me tell what various ills I bore,
That the sad tale might make me grieve the more.
(Sophocles, "Oedipus at Colonus," 510.)
And Oedipus says to the chorus,
'Tis pain to raise again a buried grief.
("Odyssey," ix. 12.)
But Euripides on the contrary,
How sweet it is, when we are lulled in ease,
To think of toils!--when well, of a disease!
(Euripides, "Andromeda," Frag. 131.)
True indeed, but not to those that are still tossed, still under a
misfortune. Therefore be sure never ask a man about his own calamities;
it is irksome to relate his losses of children or estate, or any
unprosperous adventure by sea or land; but ask a man how he carried the
cause, how he was caressed by the king, how he escaped such a storm,
such an assault, thieves, and the like; this pleaseth him, he seems to
enjoy it over again in his relation, and is never weary of the topic.
Besides, men love to be asked about their happy friends, or children
that have made good progress in philosophy or the law, or are great at
court; as also about the disgrace and open conviction of their enemies;
or of such matters they are most eager to discourse, yet are cautious
of beginning it themselves, lest they should seem to insult over and
rejoice at the misery of others. You please a hunter if you ask
him about dogs, a wrestler about exercise, and an amorous man about
beauties; the ceremonious and superstitious man discourses about dreams,
and what success he hath had by following the directions of omens
or sacrifices, and by the kindness of the gods; and some questions
concerning those things will extremely please him. He that inquires
anything of an old man, though the story doth not at all concern him,
wins his heart, and urges one that is very willing to discourse:--
Nelides Nestor, faithfully relate
How great Atrides died, what sort of fate;
And where was Menelaus largely tell?
Did Argos hold him when the hero fell?
("Odyssey," iii. 247.)
Here is a multitude of questions and variety of subjects; which is much
better than to confine and cramp his answers, and so deprive the old
man of the most pleasant enjoyment he can have. In short, they that
had rather please than distaste will still propose such questions, the
answers to which shall rather get the praise and good-will than the
contempt and hatred of the hearers. And so much of questions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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