In several things about the body too the like caution is to be observed.
Thus he that is jested on for a flat or hooked nose usually laughs
at the jest. Thus Cassander's friend was not at all displeased when
Theophrastus said to him, 'Tis strange, sir, that your eyes don't play,
since your nose is so near and so well fitted for a pipe to give them
the tune; and Cyrus commanded a long hawk-nosed fellow to marry a
flat-nosed girl, for then they would very well agree. But a jest on any
for his stinking breath or filthy nose is irksome; for baldness it may
be borne, but for blindness or infirmity in the eyes it is intolerable.
It is true, Antigonus would joke upon himself, and once, receiving a
petition written in great letters, he said, This a man may read if he
were stark blind. But he killed Theocritus the Chian for saying,--wh
Byzantine to Pasiades saying, Sir, your eyes are weak, replied, You
upbraid me with this infirmity, not considering that thy son carries the
vengeance of Heaven on his back: now Pasiades's son was hunch-backed.
And Archippus the popular Athenian was much displeased with Melanthius
for being smart on his crooked back; for Melanthius had said that he did
not stand at the head of the state but bowed down before it. It is true,
some are not much concerned at such jeers. Thus Antigonus's friend, when
he had begged a talent and was denied, desired a guard, lest somebody
should rob him of that talent he was now to carry home. Different
tempers make men differently affected, and that which troubles one
is not regarded by another. Epaminondas feasting with his
fellow-magistrates drank vinegar; and some asking if it was good for his
health, he replied, I cannot tell that, but I know it makes me remember
what I drink at home. Therefore it becomes every man that would rally,
to look into the humors of his company, and take heed to converse
without offence.
Love, as in most things else, so in this matter causes different
effects; for some lovers are pleased and some displeased at a merry
jest. Therefore in this case a fit time must be accurately observed; for
as a blast of wind puffs out a fire whilst it is weak and little, but
when thoroughly kindled strengthens and increaseth it; so love, before
it is evident and confessed, is displeased at a discoverer, but when it
breaks forth and blazes in everybody's eyes, then it is delighted and
gathers strength by the frequent blasts of joke and raillery. When their
beloved is present it will gratify them most to pass a jest upon their
passion, but to fall on any other subject will be counted an abuse. If
they are remarkably loving to their own wives, or entertain a generous
affection for a hopeful youth, then are they proud, then tickled when
jeered for such a love. And therefore Arcesilaus, when an amorous man
in his school laid down this proposition, in my opinion one thing cannot
touch another, replied, Sir you touch this person, pointing to a lovely
boy that sat near him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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