the State, are hardly becoming to civilized society, and civilized
persons are indisposed towards them. Their general effect is therefore
to discourage application for divorce in New York and encourage it
elsewhere.
It is significant of the unspiritual estimate generally put upon
marriage, that incompatibility is rarely allowed as a legal ground
of divorce. Violation of the sexual monopoly that marriage implies;
pre-nuptial unchastity on the part of the woman; impotence; cruelty;
desertion; failure of support; insanity; all of these or some of
them are the grounds generally recognized where divorce is allowed
at all. This is to say that society demands a specific grievance of
one party against the other, a grievance having physical or economic
consequences, as a prerequisite to freedom from the marriage-bond.
The fact that marriage may be a failure spiritually is seldom taken
into account. Yet there is no difficulty about which less can be
done. Infidelity may be forgiven and in time forgotten; the deserter
may return; the delinquent may be persuaded to support his family;
the insane person may recover; even impotence may be cured. But if
two people are out of spiritual correspondence, if they are not at
ease in one another’s society, there is nothing to be done about it.
“Anything,” says Turgenev, “may be smoothed over, memories of even
the most tragic domestic incidents gradually lose their strength and
bitterness; but if once a sense of being ill at ease installs itself
between two closely united persons, it can never be dislodged.” Modern
society is slowly, very slowly, coming into the wisdom which prompted
this observation. The gradual liberalization of the divorce-laws
which our moralists regard as a symptom of modern disrespect for the
sacredness of marriage, is in fact a symptom of a directly opposite
tendency--the tendency to place marriage on a higher spiritual plane
than it has hitherto occupied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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