These influences do not always, of course, take the same direction.
At present, for example, artificial limitation of offspring receives
irregular but effective community-sanction in face of opposition by
Church and State. Or again, public opinion almost universally condemns
the idea that a father may, by his will, remove his children from
the custody of their mother, although the State, as in Maryland and
Delaware, may sanction such an act. But, however much they may check
one another, these influences are all constantly operating to restrict
and regulate marriage away from its original intention as a purely
personal relationship, and to keep it in the groove of economic and
social institutionalism. The reasons for this are to be found in the
vestigiary fear of sex, love of power, love of the habitual, religious
superstition, and above all in the notion that the major interests of
the group are essentially opposed to those of the individual and are
more important than his. A combination of two of these motives has
recently come under my own observation in the case of a young woman
whose parents can not forgive her for having divorced a man whom she
did not love and married a man whom she did. They were accustomed
to their first son-in-law, and resent the necessity of adjusting
themselves to the idea of having a new one. Moreover, they feel that
their daughter should have spared them the “disgrace” of a divorce. The
fact that she was unhappy in her first marriage and is happy in her
second seems to have little weight with them. They did their best to
prevent her second marriage and are at present exerting every effort to
make it unsuccessful. It is needless to emphasize the fact that this
order of interference can not be expected to disappear while the notion
persists that the actions of one adult member of a family or group can
possibly reflect credit or discredit upon all the other members.
II
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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