Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic StorySimms, William Gilmore
General
Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic Story
Simms, William Gilmore
Domestic fiction
Meanwhile, the keenest eyes of suspicion could behold nothing in the
conduct of Julia which was not entirely unexceptionable. If William
Edgerton was still persevering in his pursuit, Julia seemed insensible
to his endeavors. Of course, they met frequently when it was not in
my power to see them. It was my error to suppose that they met more
frequently still--that he saw her invariably in his morning visits to
the studio, which was not often the case--and, when they did meet, that
she derived quite as much satisfaction from the interview as himself.
Of their meetings, except at night, when I was engaged in my miserable
watch upon them, I could say nothing. Failing to note anything evil at
such periods, my jealous imagination jumped to the conclusion that this
was because my espionage was suspected, and that their interviews at
other periods were distinguished by less prudence and reserve. And yet,
could I have reasoned rightly at this period, I must have seen that, if
such were the case, there would have been no such display of EMPRESSMENT
as William Edgerton made at these evening visits. Did he expend his
ardor in the day, did he apprehend my scrutiny at night, he would
surely have suppressed the eagerness of his glance--the profound,
all-forgetting adoration which marked his whole air, gaze, and manner.
Nor should I have been so wretchedly blind to what was the obvious
feeling of discontent and disquiet in her bosom. Never did evenings seem
to pass with more downright dullness to any one party in the world.
If Edgerton spoke to her, which he did not frequently, his address
was marked by a trepidation and hesitancy akin to fear--a manner which
certainly indicated anything but a foregone conclusion between them;
while her answers, on the other hand, were singularly cold, merely
replying, and calculated invariably to discourage everything like a
protracted conversation. What was said by Edgerton was sufficiently
harmless--nor harmless merely. It was most commonly mere ordinary
commonplace, the feeble effort of one who feels the necessity of speech,
yet dares not speak the voluminous passions which alone could furnish
him with energetic and manly utterance. Had the scales not been
abundantly thick and callous above my eyes, how easily might these
clandestine scrutinies have brought me back equally to happiness and my
senses! But though I thus beheld the parties, and saw the truth as I now
relate it, there was always then some little trifling circumstance that
would rise up, congenial to suspicion, and cloud my conclusions, and
throw me back upon old doubts and cruel jealousies. Edgerton's tone may,
at moments, have been more faltering and more tender than usual; Julia's
glance might sometimes encounter his, and then they both might seem to
fall, in mutual confusion, to the ground. Perhaps she sung some little
ditty at his instance--some ditty that she had often sung for me. Nay,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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