Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic StorySimms, William Gilmore
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Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic Story
Simms, William Gilmore
Domestic fiction
In this frame of mind I hurried through the streets. The shops were yet
unopened. The sun was just about to rise. There was a humming sound,
like that of distant waters murmuring along the shore, which filled my
ears; but otherwise everything was silent. Sleep had not withdrawn with
night from his stealthy watch upon the household. It seemed to me that
I alone could not sleep. Even guilt--if my wife were really guilty--even
guilt could sleep. I left her sleeping, and how sweetly! as if the dream
which had made her sob and sigh, had been succeeded by others, that
made all smiles again. I could not sleep, and yet, who, but a few
months before, had been possessed of such fair prospects of peace and
prosperity? Fortune held forth sufficient promise; fame--so far as fame
can be accorded by a small community--had done something toward giving
me an honorable repute; and love--had not love been seemingly as liberal
and prompt as ever young passions could have desired? I was making
money; I was getting reputation; the only woman whom I had ever loved
or sought, was mine; and mine, too, in spite of opposition and
discouragements which would have chilled the ardor of half the lovers
in the world. And yet I was not happy. It takes so small an amount of
annoyance to produce misery in the heart of selfesteem, when united with
suspicion, that it was scarcely possible that I should be happy. Such
a man has a taste for self-torture; as one troubled with an irritating
humor, is never at rest, unless he is tearing the flesh into a sore; he
may then rest as he may.
I took the way to my office. It was not often that I went thither before
breakfast. But William Edgerton had been in the habit of doing so. He
lived in the neighborhood, and his father had taught him this habit
during the period when he was employed in studying the profession. It
might be that I should find him there on the present occasion. Such was
my notion. What farther thought I had I know not; but a vague suggestion
that, in that quiet hour--there--without eye to see, or hand to
interpose, I might drag from his heart the fearful secret--I might
compel confession, take my vengeance, and rid myself finally of that
cruel agony which was making me its miserable puppet. Crude, wild
notions these, but very natural.
I turned the corner of the street. The window of my office was open. “He
is then there,” I muttered to myself; and my teeth clutched each other
closely. I buttoned my coat. My heart was swelling. I looked around me,
and up to the windows. The street was very silent--the grave not more
so. I strode rapidly across, threw open the door of the office which
stood ajar, and beheld, not the person whom I sought, but his venerable
father.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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