Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic StorySimms, William Gilmore
General
Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic Story
Simms, William Gilmore
Domestic fiction
Filled with the exciting fancies engendered by the affair of the last
night, I commenced my journey. The day was a fine one; the sun cheery
and bright without being oppressive; and soon, gliding through the broad
avenues, lined with noblest trees, which conducted us from the city to
the forests, we had the pleasant carol of birds, and the lively chirp of
hopping insects.
I was always a lover of the woods; green shady dells, and winding walks
amidst crowding foliage. I cared little for mere flowers. A garden was
never a desire in my mind. I could be pleased to see and to smell, but I
had no passion for its objects. But the trees--the big, venerable oaks,
like patriarchs and priests; the lofty and swaggering pines in their
green helmets, like warriors of the feudal ages--these were forms that
I could worship. I may say, I loved trees with a real passion. Flowers,
and the taste for flowers seemed to me always petty; but my instincts
led me to behold a sneaking and most impressive grandeur, in these old
lords of the forest, that had been the first, rising from the mighty
mother to attest the wondrous strength of her resources, and the teeming
glories of her womb.
Now, however, they did not fill my soul with earnest reachings, as had
ever been the case before. They soothed me somewhat, but the eyes of
my mind were turned within. They looked only at the prostration of
that miserable heart which was torturing itself with vague, wild
doubts--guessing and conjecturing with an agonizing pain, and without
the least hope of profit. I could not drive from my thoughts, the vexing
circumstances of the last night in the city; and, for the first day of
our journey, the hours moved with oppressive slowness. Objects which I
had formerly loved to contemplate and always found sweet and refreshing,
now gave me little pleasure and exacted little of my attention; and I
reached our stopping-place for the night with a sense of weariness
and stupor which no mere fatigue of body, I well knew, could ever have
occasioned.
But this could not last. The elasticity of my nature, joined with the
absence of that one person whom I had now learned to regard as my evil
genius, soon enabled me to shake off the oppressive doubts and sadness
which fettered and enfeebled me. Once more I began to behold the forests
with all the eyes of former delight and affection, and I was conscious,
after the progress of a day or two, of periods in which I entirely lost
sight of William Edgerton and all my suspicions in the sweet warmth of a
fresh and pleasing contemplation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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