The elder Trollope was a scholar, and to make scholars of his sons was
one of his ruling ideas. Poor little Anthony endured no less than
twelve mortal years of schooling--from the time he was seven until he
was nineteen--and declares that, in all that time, he does not remember
that he ever knew a lesson. "I have been flogged," he says, "oftener
than any other human being." Nay, his troubles began before his
school-days; for his father used to make him recite his infantile tasks
to him while he was shaving, and obliged him to sit with his head
inclined in such a manner "that he could pull my hair without stopping
his razor or dropping his shaving-brush." This is a depressing picture;
and there are plenty more like it. Dr. Butler, the master of Harrow,
meeting the poor little draggletail urchin in the yard, desired to
know, in awful accents, how so dirty a boy dared to show himself near
the school! "He must have known me, had he seen me as he was wont to
see me, for he was in the habit of flogging me constantly. Perhaps,"
adds his victim, "he did not recognize me by my face!" But it is
comforting to learn, in another place, that justice overtook the
oppressor. "Dr. Butler only lived to be Dean of Peterborough; but his
successor (Dr. Longley) became Archbishop of Canterbury." There is a
great deal of Trollopian morality in the fate of these two men, the
latter of whom "could not have said anything ill-natured if he had
tried."
Black care, however, continued to sit behind the horseman with
harrowing persistence. A certain Dr. Drury (another schoolmaster)
punished him on suspicion of "some nameless horror," of which the
unfortunate youngster happened to be innocent. When, afterward, the
latter fact began to be obvious, "he whispered to me half a word that
perhaps he had been wrong. But, with a boy's stupid slowness, I said
nothing, and he had not the courage to carry reparation farther." The
poverty of Anthony's father deprived the boy of all the external
advantages that might have enabled him to take rank with his fellows:
and his native awkwardness and sensitiveness widened the breach. "I had
no friend to whom I could pour out my sorrows. I was big, awkward and
ugly, and, I have no doubt, skulked about in a most unattractive
manner. Something of the disgrace of my school-days has clung to me all
through life. When I have been claimed as school-fellow by some of
those many hundreds who were with me either at Harrow or at Winchester,
I have felt that I had no right to talk of things from most of which I
was kept in estrangement. I was never a coward, but to make a stand
against three hundred tyrants required a moral courage which I did not
possess." Once, however, they pushed him too far, and he was driven to
rebellion. "And then came a great fight--at the end of which my
opponent had to be taken home to be cured." And then he utters the
characteristic wish that some one, of the many who witnessed this
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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