We must not, however, forget that the same principle which calls for
obedience in the young calls likewise for fidelity in the parent. The
parents have a responsibility laid upon them so long as the young people
are inmates of their home, a responsibility which the young person is
bound to acknowledge, and of which the parents cannot divest themselves.
Parents therefore are bound to be faithful, as well as the children to be
submissive. If they consider a particular course of conduct to be
conformity to the world, it is their duty as Christian parents plainly to
say so. They should let their minds be known, and let it be an
understood thing that the course adopted is opposed to their judgments
and their wish. There are very few Christian families in which the
knowledge of the parents’ wish is not sufficient; and when young persons
are ready to submit to the judgment of their parents, it is clearly due
to them that the parent should not shrink from the responsibility of
decision. It is an easy thing to get rid of a difficulty by saying that
at their age young persons must do as they like; but it is not fair to do
so when the young persons are dutifully disposed, and perfectly ready to
yield to their parents’ judgment. In such a case the son or daughter has
a right to look to the parent for a decided expression of his opinion and
wish. When things are as they ought to be in a Christian home, the
parents’ wish is followed at once. If that wish is clearly expressed,
and then disregarded, the blame lies on the young people; but if, from
any motive, the parents withhold the expression of their wish, then they
must be held responsible, and they have no right to express regret at the
worldly conformity of their children.
But, besides the duty towards the children, it is important not to forget
the responsible position which the parent occupies in society; for, as a
general rule, parents are held to a great extent responsible for the
amusements adopted by the young people under their roof. If we could get
behind the scenes we should often hear it argued that Mr. A. allows his
daughters to adopt a certain line of conduct, or that Mr. B. makes no
objection; whereas it is not impossible that they have both objected
strongly, but have not had the moral courage to take the responsibility
of withholding their consent. The result is, that they are thought by
their friends to sanction that which they disapprove, and they
practically throw the weight of their influence into the support of that
which they think undesirable.
But let it not be supposed, that in saying this, I do not enter into the
anxieties of parents, for I have seen too much of life not to know how
great they are, and how strong are the considerations which sometimes
make many waver when deciding for their children, who would never
hesitate as to their own conduct.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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