CONJURE WIFE By Fritz Leiber, Jr. Illustrated by Kramer [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Unknown Worlds April 1943. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] I. "I keep wondering if she knows about Us," said the woman with black button eyes. She played the queen of spades. The queen of hearts trumped the queen of spades. "You can put your mind at rest," said the silver-haired woman sweetly, gathering in the trick. "She doesn't. Tansy Saylor plays a lone hand. Like most women, she thinks she's the Only One. Co-operation such as ours is rare." "But I'm afraid of her. Oh, I know she hasn't upset the Balance, and uses only Protective Procedures. But she isn't our kind. Neither is her husband. They don't belong." The silver-haired woman nodded primly, peering through her thick glasses at the dummy with the empty chair behind it. "I agree. The Saylors are a disgrace to the Hempnell faculty. Modern. No sense of the traditional decencies." "Yes, and she wants to make him president of Hempnell. She wants him to dictate to our husbands. She wants to condescend to us." "This talk gets nowhere," broke in the stout, red-haired woman gruffly. "The point is that her Protective Procedures are effective--many things would have happened to the Saylors during the last ten years if they weren't. And she hasn't made the mistake of upsetting the Balance. So what can we three do about it?" "Oh, the Balance!" said the woman with black button eyes, throwing down her last two cards. "Sometimes I think we ought to upset it ourselves." She evaded the shocked glance of the silver-haired woman. "We've our Sounds, and our Pictures, and our Numbers, and our Cards. We could finish the Saylors in a whiff. There's such a neat trick with cards I've just learned. Here, let me show you--" She slipped a dozen shiny paste-board oblongs out of her purse. They had the conventional backs, but their faces bore representations of a cryptic sort. "Stop that!" The silver-haired woman stretched out fluttering hands. "Put them away!" ordered the stout woman harshly. She glanced at the door. "Quickly!" But the eyes of the little man who ambled in were not inquisitive. With white beard and amiable smile, he looked almost benign, in an absent-minded sort of way. "I don't suppose you played much bridge while I was gone," he observed with mild joviality. The silver-haired woman's laughter trilled sweetly. "It's his little joke. He always pretends that all women are fearful gossips. Well, at least I made the contract, dear. Four hearts." His eyes twinkled. "Very commendable." He settled himself in the empty chair. "Still I imagine the three of you managed to find time for some very dark and devious plotting--" He chuckled innocently.