He took it, and, going to the window, he examined it by the pale light
of early morning. It was a strong instrument that, in a firm hand, would
be a terrible arm; newly sharpened, it had the edge of a razor.
Then the idea, the vision that had come to him two hours before, came
back to him, clear and complete at nightfall, that is, at the moment
when the concierge was in the second wing of the building, he mounted
to Caffie’s apartment without being seen, and with this knife he cut his
throat. It was as simple as it was easy, and this knife left beside the
corpse, and the nature of the wound, would lead the police to look for a
butcher, or at least a man who was in the habit of using a knife of this
kind.
The evening before, when he had discussed Caffie’s death, the how and
the when still remained vague and uncertain. But now the day and the
means were definitely settled: it should be with this knife, and this
evening.
This shook him out of his torpor and made him shudder.
He was angry with himself for this weakness. Did he know or did he not
know what he wished? Was he irresolute or cowardly?
Then, going from one idea to another, he thought of an observation that
he had made, which appeared to prove that with many subjects there is
less firmness in the morning than in the evening. Was this the result
of dualism of the nervous centres, and was the human personality double
like the brain? Were there hours when the right hemisphere is master of
our will, and were there other hours when the left is master? Did one of
these hemispheres possess what the other lacked, and is it according to
the activity of this or that one, that one has such a character or such
a temperament? This would be curious, and would amount to saying that, a
lamb in the morning, one might be a tiger at evening. With him it was a
lamb that woke in the morning to be devoured by a tiger during the
day. To which hemisphere belonged the one and the other of these
personalities?
He was angry with himself for yielding to these reflections; it was a
time, truly, to study this psychological question! It was of Caffie that
he should think, and of the plan which in an instant flashed through his
mind in the street, before he decided to pick up this knife.
Evidently things were neither so simple nor so easy as they at first
appeared, and to insure the success of his plan a combination of
circumstances was necessary, which might be difficult to bring about.
Would not the concierge see him pass? Would no one go up or down the
stairs? Would Caffie be alone? Would he open the door? Might not some
one ring after he had entered?
Here was a series of questions that he had not thought of before, but
which now presented itself.
He must examine them, weigh them, and not throw himself giddily into an
adventure that presented such risks.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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