De Amicis, Edmondo, 1846-1908 -- Travel -- Turkey -- Istanbul; Istanbul (Turkey) -- Description and travel
The conditions of married life, however, vary very greatly according to
the worldly possessions of the husband, even apart from the fact that a
man who can only support one woman can, of course, have but one wife.
The rich man lives apart from his wife in body as well as in spirit;
he is able to afford a separate suite of apartments or even a house
for her, and does so in order that he may carry on his occupations and
receive his friends and acquaintances without running any risk of the
ladies of his household being seen or interfered with. The Turk of
moderate means is forced, from motives of economy, to live on terms of
much greater familiarity with his wife, and, dwelling under the same
roof, sees her much more frequently. The poor Turk is obliged to occupy
the smallest possible space, and so eats, sleeps, and passes all his
leisure time in the company of his wife and children. Wealth divides,
while poverty unites. The life led in the houses of the poor differs
very little whether the inmates be Turks or Christians. The woman who
cannot keep a slave does the work herself, and labor increases her
dignity and authority. Not infrequently she may even be found routing
her lazy husband out of the neighboring café or tavern and driving him
home with blows from her slipper. Here, at least, husband and wife are
on an equality: they spend their evenings together, seated side by side
in the doorway of their house, and in the more retired suburbs even go
together, sometimes, to make the family purchases. Not infrequently
you may see in an out-of-the-way cemetery a father and mother, with
their children gathered around them, seated near the grave of some
relative, eating their luncheon, just like a laboring family in any
other part of the world; and from the mere fact that it is uncommon,
one finds himself strangely moved by this simple scene. You realize,
as you watch them, how natural, how essential, and eternally and
universally fitting is that junction of soul and body; that in that
group, so complete in itself, there is no room for any one else; that
a single additional note and the harmony would be spoiled or destroyed
outright; that, talk and argue as you may, the fact remains that the
first condition, the elementary force, the cornerstone of an orderly
and well-balanced society, is there before you; that every and any
other combination of affections and interests violates a natural law;
that this is a family, the other a herd; that this, and this only,
corresponds to a home, the other to a wolf’s den.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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