Courtship and Marriage, and the Gentle Art of Home-MakingSwan, Annie S.
General
Courtship and Marriage, and the Gentle Art of Home-Making
Swan, Annie S.
Family life; Home economics; Marriage
The first year of married life is often very full, as well as specially
trying, a record of new and very crucial experiences such as are bound
to prove the grit of our young housekeeper. She has many things to learn
in her new sphere, both in the department of ethics as well as of
housekeeping. She has a husband to study, for even though they have seen
a great deal of each other before marriage, there yet remains much to
learn of many little peculiarities before undreamed of, which in the
full glare and test of daily life sometimes stand out with a certain
unpleasant prominence, which both find trying. There are new tastes to
discover and consider, new likes and dislikes to be studied--in a word,
the situation is a severe ordeal, especially if our young wife be very
young and inexperienced. Of course she has an adoring and approving love
to aid her, and all her efforts to please will be appreciated at their
full value, and perhaps a little over, and that is much.
If in addition to all the trying amenities of her new position there be
added early in her married life the prospect of motherhood, with its
attendant cares, anxieties, and fears, then our young housekeeper may be
granted to have hand and heart full. That it is a prospect full of joy
and satisfaction, the realisation of a sweet and secret hope, nobody
will deny. There are a few women, we are told, who do not desire
motherhood, preferring the greater freedom and ease of childless
wifehood; but it is not of such we seek to write, because the vast
majority agree with me that motherhood is the crown of marriage, as well
as the sweetest of all bonds between husband and wife.
It is the great, almost awful, responsibility of this bond which makes
thinking people deplore the prevalence of early and improvident marriage
between persons who seem to lack entirely this sense of responsibility,
and who undertake the most solemn duties in the same flippant mood as
they go out on a day's enjoyment. The idea that they have in their power
the making and marring of a human soul, to say nothing of the influences
which in fulness of time must go forth from that same soul, does not
trouble them, or indeed exist for them at all. They have no ideas--they
never think. If the child comes, good and well--it has to be provided
for; welcome or unwelcome it arrives; and is tolerated or rejoiced over
as the case may be.
We need a great deal of educating on this particular point, and the fact
that a child may have rights before it is born is one which presses home
to the heart of every man and woman who may give the matter any serious
attention whatsoever.
If we marry, then as surely do we undertake the possible obligations of
parentage; and if we do not see that we are fit physically, mentally,
and morally for this undoubtedly greatest of all human obligations, then
are we blameworthy, and answerable to God and man for our shortcomings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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