Cowboy Life on the Sidetrack: Being an Extremely Humorous & Sarcastic Story of the Trials & Tribulations Endured by a Party of Stockmen Making a Shipment from the West to the East.Benton, Frank
General
Cowboy Life on the Sidetrack: Being an Extremely Humorous & Sarcastic Story of the Trials & Tribulations Endured by a Party of Stockmen Making a Shipment from the West to the East.
Benton, Frank
Benton, Frank, 1853-1921 -- Anecdotes; Cattle trade -- West (U.S.) -- Anecdotes; Cowboys -- West (U.S.) -- Anecdotes; Frontier and pioneer life -- West (U.S.) -- Anecdotes; West (U.S.) -- Social life and customs -- Anecdotes
Finally Chuckwagon stopped and sniffed a time or two and said he was
satisfied the sheepmen and Jackdo must have found the train. After we
walked a mile further we came to the sheepmen and Jackdo setting down at
a sidetrack, but the stock train was not there. We were much puzzled at
this, but after a great deal of argument Eatumup Jake, who had studied
Arithmetic some, proposed to measure the sidetrack. He suggested as the
only possible solution to the train not being there that probably the
track was too short for the train. The trouble now was to get some
proper thing to measure with. Finally we took Eatumup Jake's pants which
he had removed for the purpose, they being thirty-four inches inseam. By
taking the end of each leg they measured sixty-eight inches, or five
feet eight inches, to a measurement. Every time we made a measurement
Dillbery put a pebble in his pocket for feet and Chuckwagon put one in
his for inches. When we got through we made a light out of some sticks
and counted the pebbles. Dillbery had 292 and Chuckwagon 287. They both
insisted they had made no mistake, so we had to measure it all over
again. There had come up a little flurry of snow in the meantime, which
happens frequently at that altitude, and Eatumup Jake wanted them to
divide the difference between 287 and 292, but as one had inches and the
other feet, Eatumup Jake couldn't make the proper division in his head
and we had nothing to figure with. So we measured again and counted and
found they each had 287. As this would only equal forty-one stock cars,
and as there was forty-three cars of stock, five cars of California
fruit, three cars merchandise, nine tonnage cars and the way-car, we
knew our train couldn't possibly get in on this sidetrack. So Jake put
on his pants and we started on again, perfectly satisfied now that we
had solved what seemed at first a great mystery.
After walking several miles it became daylight and we discovered a man
and woman with a mule team and wagon, going the same way we were. As
they didn't seem to have much of a load and asked us to ride we
concluded to ride. However, as we couldn't all ride in the wagon at once
and as the wagon road wasn't always in sight of the track, we had Jackdo
and the two sheepmen walk along the track, and if they found the train
they were to holler and wave something to us so we would know.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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