Cowboy Life on the Sidetrack: Being an Extremely Humorous & Sarcastic Story of the Trials & Tribulations Endured by a Party of Stockmen Making a Shipment from the West to the East.Benton, Frank
General
Cowboy Life on the Sidetrack: Being an Extremely Humorous & Sarcastic Story of the Trials & Tribulations Endured by a Party of Stockmen Making a Shipment from the West to the East.
Benton, Frank
Benton, Frank, 1853-1921 -- Anecdotes; Cattle trade -- West (U.S.) -- Anecdotes; Cowboys -- West (U.S.) -- Anecdotes; Frontier and pioneer life -- West (U.S.) -- Anecdotes; West (U.S.) -- Social life and customs -- Anecdotes
Chuck was a good man. While he never joined church and drunk a heap of
whiskey, bucked faro and monte, cussed mighty hard at times, yet he
always paid his debts. Never killed other people's beef and didn't take
mavericks till they was plum weaned from the cows. He believed mighty
strong in ghosts and God Almighty; believed in angels, 'cause he loved a
little, blonde, blue-eyed girl away up in the mountains in Idaho. He had
a strong belief in heaven, but a heap stronger one in hell, 'cause he
said there must be some place to keep the sheepmen by themselves in the
other world. He never had a father or mother and no bringing up, but
lived a better life 'cording to what he knowed than some people who
knowed more. He always gave his big-jawed cattle to Injuns to eat, place
of hauling the meat to town and peddling it out to white folks. He'd
been known to even cut stove wood for married men when their wives were
off visiting, and once he gave all the tobacco and cigarette papers he
had to a sick Digger Injun and went without for a week himself. He
always let the tenderfoot visitor at the ranch fish all the strips of
bacon out the beans and pretended to be looking the other way, and when
old Widow Mulligan, who ran a little milk ranch, died of fever and left
four little red-headed kids he took them all home and took care of them,
told them bear stories till they all went to sleep nights in his bed,
washed them, fed them and never said a cross word, and even when they
drowned his pet cat in the well, let out his pigs, turned the old cow in
his garden and stoned all his young Plymouth Rock chickens to death, he
just said, "Poor little fellars, they hain't got no mother now," and he
guessed they didn't mean any harm, and took care of them till a relative
came and took them away.
We figured all these things up and made up our minds that no fair-minded
God would send a great, big-hearted, innocent cowman, who never harmed
anybody in his life, to a place like hell was supposed to be. Even if
God couldn't let him into heaven on 'count of his wearing his pants in
his boots, eating with his knife at the table place of his fork,
drinking his coffee out his saucer and other ignorant ways, yet He might
give him a pretty decent place away out where there wasn't any sheepmen,
and if He didn't have somebody handy to keep old Chuck company just let
him have a deck or two of cards to play solitaire with and Chuck
wouldn't mind.
Old Chuckwagon was mighty fond of white-faced cattle, and just as he
breathed his last he sorter roused up and stretched out his arms, with
his eyes as bright as 'lectric lamps, and said: "Boys, I see another
country, just lots of big grass, with running streams of water, big
herds of white-face cattle, and they are all mavericks, not a brand on
'em, and not a sheep-wagon in sight." And them was his last words.
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