When Ladies at _Lords_ saunter gaily With Parsons (not musing on Paley), Old friend of my boyhood, between us, Then, _then_ is the Transit of Venus! O BOWLER, BOWLER O Bowler, Bowler, when the day is hot, Nor any more a wicket you can get; When Curl and Length and Pace are Gone to Pot Before the blade of him serenely set, _IS_ life worth living--life which only means Your ev'ry ball receives stupendous Beans, And that dread Bat a mighty harvest gleans While your Analysis sinks deep in debt? He cuts the leather hard and square, Nor recks he if it shoots or kicks; He sends you clean beyond the screen, And lifts you o'er the Baths for six? O Bowler, Bowler, when the Swells all frown And say your non-success is due to Stodge; When you in vain invoke the House of Brown For help the brilliant Batsman to dislodge, _IS_ life worth living--life which only sends Reproachful glances from despondent friends, A varied action and a change of ends, The subtle slow, the Daisy-cutter's dodge? The Batsman smacks you to the Courts, And drives you mad with cunning snicks; He wipes you clean beyond the screen, And crumps you o'er the Baths for six! O Bowler, Bowler, when the Captain calls 'Let Longcroft try,' and places you at Point; When Cover whispers 'Brown, look out for squalls!' And, with a vengeance, times are out of joint, _IS_ life worth living--life which only brings Mis-fielding pains and most erratic flings, Which aid the Batsman's rapid regist'rings, But leave you praiseless, slanged and unanoint? The Batsman cuts the ball for five, Employing judgment, nerve, and tricks; He smites you clean beyond the screen, And carts you o'er the Baths for six! THE CHURCH CRICKETANT I bowled three sanctified souls With three consecutive balls! What do I care if Blondin trod Over Niagara Falls? What do I care for the loon in the Pit Or the gilded earl in the Stalls? I bowled three curates once With three consecutive balls! I caused three Protestant 'ducks' With three consecutive balls! Poets may rave of lily girls Dancing in marble halls! What do I care for a bevy of yachts, Or a dozen or so of yawls? I bowled three curates once With three consecutive balls! I bowled three cricketing priests With three consecutive balls! What if a critic pounds a book, What if an author squalls? What do I care if sciatica comes, Elephantiasis calls? I bowled three curates once With three consecutive balls! REVENGE