A similar motive belongs to subordinate forms of egoism--the obstinacy
of a man who may be so vexed by contradiction as to drive one into
despair, and who under proper treatment becomes valuable. This I learned
mainly from my old butler, a magnificent honest soldier, a figure out of
a comedy, but endowed with inexorable obstinacy against which my skill
for a long time availed nothing. As often as I proposed something with
regard to some intended piece of work or alteration, I got the identical
reply--“It won’t do, sir.” Finally I got hold of a list and worked my
plan--“Simon, this will now be done as Simon recently said it should be
done,--namely.” At this he looked at me, tried to think when he had said
this thing, and went and did it. And in spite of frequent application
this list has not failed once for some years. What is best about it is
that it will serve, mutatis mutandis, with criminals. As soon as ever
real balkiness is noted, it becomes necessary to avoid the least
appearance of contradictoriness, since that increases difficulties. It
is not necessary to lie or to make use of trickery. Only, avoid direct
contradiction, drop the subject in question, and return to it indirectly
when you perceive that the obstinate individual recognizes his error.
Then you may succeed in building him a golden bridge, or at least a
barely visible sidedoor where he can make his retreat unnoticed. In that
case even the most difficult of obstinates will no longer repeat the old
story. He will repeat only if he is pressed, and this although he is
repeatedly brought back to the point. If, however, the matter is once
decided, beware of returning to it without any other reason, save to
confirm the settled matter quite completely,--that would be only to wake
the sleeper to give him a sleeping powder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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