"Smoke, eh, youngster?" he repeated in his ironical way, being the driest old stick we had in the gunroom and certainly, according to Larkyns, a judge of considerable experience of the article under discussion. "Bless you, it's the most rotgut stuff any fellow ever put in his inside, and only a Dutchman could have invented it! I can tell you it's a liquor that's best left alone. Take my advice, Vernon, and don't you have anything to do with it!" "I won't," I replied. "Have you ever tasted it, Mr Stormcock?" He looked at me hard, thinking at first that I meant to chaff him; but seeing that I asked the question in perfect good faith, without any intention of alluding to his reported "little weakness," he proceeded to answer me, truthfully enough. "By jingo! youngster, I can tell you, I speak from my own knowledge," he said, as he turned away to go forwards, "I had too much of it once when I was at the Cape before and it gave me the shakes next morning so badly that my teeth rattled like a horse's jaws when chewing a hammer!" This expression amused me very much, for I had never heard previously of a horse indulging in that species of diet; so, I went up on the quarter-deck to take my watch with a broad smile on my face, which attracted Mr Jellaby's notice at once, as he had a keen relish for a joke. "Hullo, youngster, you're grinning like a Cheshire cat eating green cheese!" he exclaimed. "I suppose you have heard the news, and that makes you so chirpy?" This made me all agog in a moment, with the expectation of something very exciting coming, and I answered his question in the Irish fashion, by asking another with much eagerness. "What news, sir? I haven't heard of any." "Why, the redcoats belonging to the garrison at Cape Town are going to give a grand ball in our honour, and of course all the gunroom officers as well as the wardroom fellows will be invited," he replied. "I daresay they'll be able to spare you from your important duties aboard for the occasion, and I'll try to smuggle you off myself if I can. By Jove, it will be a splendid hop, for the Cape Town girls are chawming, they tell me!" I was not old enough yet, however, for this encomium of his on the young ladies of the colony to be any inducement to me, and, to tell the truth, was a little disappointed at hearing what his wonderful news was, imagining it to have been something very different. "Oh!" I said, without any improved enthusiasm, such as he doubtless expected. "Thank you, sir." "Well you _are_ an ungrateful young cub!" he cried. "Catch me putting myself out of the way again to give you a treat! One would think from your glum look that I was going to bring you up on the quarter-deck before the captain, instead of offering to take you to the ball!"