I felt quite sorry at having hurt his feelings, he looked so chagrined; but, before I could say anything in excuse for the apathetic way in which I had received his intelligence, Mr Bitpin, who had overheard the conversation, came to my rescue. "Nonsense, Jellaby!" he said. "What can a boy like that know about girls? Time enough for him to think of the petticoats when he's twenty years older; and then he'll be a fool if he runs after them as much as you do!" "Ah, you're jealous, Bitpin, because you're not a lady's man!" retorted Mr Jellaby, recovering his good humour in a moment, as he always did, no matter how much he might be put out. "If you were as great a favourite with them as I am, you'd sing a different song, I know." "As great a fiddlestick!" ejaculated the other with infinite scorn, having the reputation of being as much of a woman-hater as Diogenes. "If I was as big an ass about those `chawming girls' as you call them, I tell you what I would do--I'd go and hang myself!" He said this so fervently, that, in spite of Mr Bitpin's burlesque of his manner of speaking, "Joe" fairly roared with laughter, in which the gunnery lieutenant, who had just come up from below to see about something deficient in one of the upper deck guns, which had been reported to him by Mr Triggs during the morning's inspection, joined with much gusto. Their merriment so enraged Mr Bitpin that he went down to the wardroom in the most wrathful mood, declaring that they were a couple of idiots and that the service was going to the devil through the Admiralty neglecting the claims of their best officers and promoting a lot of empty-headed coxcombs, who thought more of prancing about in a ballroom in patent leather pumps than of keeping their watch regularly and attending to their duties aboard ship! Notwithstanding all adverse comments, however, Mr Jellaby's news of the forthcoming ball proved true, for I heard it confirmed at the captain's table the same evening. Captain Farmer was in the habit of inviting his officers in turn to dinner three times a week, the commander being a regular guest and one of the lieutenants and mates, with a couple of midshipmen and naval cadets being generally present on each occasion; while the doctor and chaplain, as also the purser and marine officers, only came occasionally to these gatherings, the conversation mostly dealing with professional matters in which those belonging to the executive were mainly interested and the other branches not much concerned. It was for this reason, I suppose, the captain did not invite these latter officers more often than he could help! During the progress of the courses this evening, the talk, as usual, was on service topics; but when the cloth had been removed and the toast of "the Queen" honoured in the customary way, each of us youngsters being then allowed our one glass of wine to drink the health of Her Majesty, Captain Farmer introduced the subject of the garrison ball.