Produced by Woodie4, Suzanne Shell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net [Illustration: cover] CUPID'S MIDDLEMAN [Illustration: CUPID'S MIDDLEMAN.] CUPID'S MIDDLEMAN BY EDWARD B. LENT AUTHOR OF "BEING DONE GOOD" ILLUSTRATED BY H. B. MATTHEWS NEW YORK CUPPLES & LEON Copyright, 1906, by CUPPLES & LEON TO MY FRIEND, HERBERT F. GUNNISON, OF THE BROOKLYN EAGLE. LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS PAGE CUPID'S MIDDLEMAN _Frontispiece_ "WHY, WHO IN THE WORLD COULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS NONSENSE?" LAUGHED HYGEIA 214 "YOU ADVERTISE ROOMS FOR LIGHT HOUSEKEEPING" 238 "I WROTE IT, GABRIELLE--AND FORGIVE ME" 286 "I CAME TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU, MR. TESCHERON" 322 PREFACE John Alden was a celebrated Cupid's middleman. In presenting the cause of Miles Standish to Priscilla, however, he did not attend strictly to business as a jobber. He was not able to resist the lady when she asked: "Why don't you speak for yourself, John?" That famous question has practically made it impossible for the middleman to make much headway in the assumed part. Benjamin Hopkins, of Oswegatchie County, was not a traitor--perhaps because he never met the fair Priscillas face to face. This story can teach no new lesson; it can only recall the ancient wisdom which filled Miles Standish when it was too late. In the poem by Longfellow, the Plymouth Captain says: "* * * I should have remembered the adage-- If you would be well served, you must serve yourself; and moreover, No man can gather cherries in Kent at the season of Christmas!" E. B. L. Cupid's Middleman CHAPTER I "Jim, it's years since you asked me to help you out in a love affair," I said. "Has your old heart grown cold, shriveled up, or what's the matter?" "You're right, Ben; it must be a long time back. But why don't you put out a few letters for yourself?" "I wish I could get a dollar a ton for all I have written for you," said I; "then I'd have a fortune and all the girls would be chasing me for my money." "Say, was it as bad as that, do you think?" "Well, cut the price in two and I'd be satisfied." "What a fool I was, Ben, to let you trifle with my fair friends in that way! You came near putting me in a terrible hole several times." "Is that so? You never said anything about it. Tell me now." "Not for a mansion and forty servants would I tell you. Well, I should say not. Nay! Nay!" "I'll bet you profited by my efforts and you're not willing to let on. Do you think that is a friendly attitude to take toward an agent who has increased the range of your powers of fascination?"