"At that time I felt that I was a sinner, but was fighting against that feeling. I wished that Christ would let me alone, and that the Holy Spirit would not trouble me. But now I very much wish that I may feel my sins, and that Christ may come to me and save me. I wish to follow the Spirit." "Did you expect a month ago that at this time you would be feeling and acting as you now feel and act?" "No, sir; I meant then to fight it through, and not let anybody know how I felt." "Do you wish now that you had fought it through, as you proposed, and kept all your feelings to yourself?" "I am very thankful that I did not keep on hiding my feelings. I almost tremble to think what the result would have been." "You have said that you wish to spend your life in serving Christ. Does it seem to you a hard and painful work--a work that you would get rid of if you could--or does working for Christ and confessing Christ before men seem attractive?" "I think his service seems pleasant; there is no other life that seems half as pleasant." "Do you believe that Christ is able to save you?" "I suppose he is. If he cannot save me, there is no hope for me, for I cannot save myself." "Do you believe that he is willing to save you?" "I think he is, if I come to him and trust in him. I suppose he is willing to save all who come to him." "Are you unwilling to come to him--to trust him and submit to him?" "I don't know; I have tried to come to Christ, but I have met with no such change as I have always supposed that a Christian ought to have." "What do you think it is that hinders your coming into light and joy as others have done?" "I cannot tell. I suppose it must be something or other in myself, but I cannot guess what it is." "I would like to ask you a few questions which you may think rather close and personal, and which you may find it hard to answer frankly. You know the spiritual adviser, as well as the physician, must first of all find out the condition of the patient." "I am willing to have you ask any questions you please, and I will try to answer them as well as I can." "Did you ever think, Ansel, that you were very ambitious?" "I knew that, like many others, I was a little ambitious, but I never thought that I was very much so." "Perhaps you were more ambitious than you thought. You know that you would work day and night rather than not stand at the head of every class you were in. On the play-ground you asserted your position as leader in every game. Did you not carry the same idea of being chief into your plans and expectations for the future? You were ambitious of standing the very first whatever course of life you might follow. Was not this so?" "I don't know: I can't deny it; I think it was."