This, though extravagant without fancy, is not the worst part of the absurd humour which runs through this pedantic comedy. The classical reader may perhaps be amused by the following strange conceits. Poeta, who was in love with Historia, capriciously falls in love with Astronomia, and thus compares his mistress:-- Her _brow_ is like a brave _heroic_ line That does a sacred majestie inshrine; Her _nose, Phaleuciake_-like, in comely sort, Ends in a _Trochie_, or a long and short. Her _mouth_ is like a pretty _Dimeter_; Her _eie-brows_ like a little-longer _Trimeter_. Her _chinne_ is an _adonicke_, and her _tongue_ Is an _Hypermeter_, somewhat too long. Her _eies_ I may compare them unto two Quick-turning _dactyles_, for their nimble view. Her _ribs_ like staues of _Sapphicks_ doe descend Thither, which but to name were to offend. Her _arms_ like two _Iambics_ raised on hie, Doe with her brow bear equal majestie; Her _legs_ like two straight _spondees_ keep apace Slow as two _scazons_, but with stately grace. The piece concludes with a speech by Polites, who settles all the disputes and loves of the Arts. Poeta promises for the future to attach himself to Historia. Rhetorica, though she loves Logicus, yet as they do not mutually agree, she is united to Grammaticus. Polites counsels Phlegmatico, who is Logicus's man, to leave off smoking, and to learn better manners; and Choler, Grammaticus's man, to bridle himself;--that Ethicus and Oeconoma would vouchsafe to give good advice to Poeta and Historia;--and Physica to her children Geographus and Astronomia! for Grammaticus and Rhetorica, he says, their tongues will always agree, and will not fall out; and for Geometres and Arithmetica, they will be very regular. Melancholico, who is Poeta's man, is left quite alone, and agrees to be married to Musica: and at length Phantastes, by the entreaty of Poeta, becomes the servant of Melancholico, and Musica. Physiognomus and Cheiromantes, who are in the character of gipsies and fortune-tellers, are finally exiled from the island of Fortunata, where lies the whole scene of the action in the residence of the _Married Arts_. The pedant-comic-writer has even attended to the dresses of his characters, which are minutely given. Thus Melancholico wears a black suit, a black hat, a black cloak, and black worked band, black gloves, and black shoes. Sanguis, the servant of Medicus, is in a red suit; on the breast is a man with his nose bleeding; on the back, one letting blood in his arm; with a red hat and band, red stockings and red pumps.