Curious Epitaphs, Collected from the Graveyards of Great Britain and Ireland.Andrews, William
General
Curious Epitaphs, Collected from the Graveyards of Great Britain and Ireland.
Andrews, William
Epitaphs -- Great Britain
"I saw this woman to-day in her bed, to which she is confined from having
lost the use of her limbs. She has even now, old and withered as she is, a
characteristic countenance, and, I should judge from her present
appearance, must have had a fine, though perhaps a masculine style of head
when young. I have seen many a woman at the age of sixty or seventy look
older than she does under the load of 108 years of human life. Her cheeks
are round and seem firm, though ploughed with many a small wrinkle. Her
eyes, though their sight is gone, are large and well formed. As soon as it
was announced that somebody had come to see her, she broke the silence of
her solitary thoughts and spoke. She began in a complaining tone, as if
the remains of a strong and restless spirit were impatient of the prison
of a decaying and weak body. 'Other people die, and I cannot,' she said.
Upon exciting her recollection of former days, her energy seemed roused,
and she spoke with emphasis. Her voice was strong for an old person; and I
could easily believe her when, upon being asked if her sex was not in
danger of being detected by her voice, she replied that she always had a
strong and manly voice. She appeared to take a pride in having kept her
secret, declaring that she told it to no man, woman, or child, during the
time she was in the army; 'for you know, Sir, a drunken man and a child
always tell the truth. But,' said she, 'I told my secret to the ground. I
dug a hole that would hold a gallon, and whispered it there.' While I was
with her the flies annoyed her extremely: she drove them away with a fan,
and said they seemed to smell her out as one that was going to the grave.
She showed me a wound she had received in her elbow by a bayonet. She
lamented the error of her former ways, but excused it by saying, 'When you
are at Rome, you must do as Rome does.' When she could not distinctly hear
what was said, she raised herself in the bed and thrust her head forward
with impatient energy. She said when the king saw her, he called her 'a
jolly old fellow.' Though blind, she could discern a glimmering light, and
I was told would frequently state the time of day by the effect of light."
The next is copied from a time-worn stone in Weem churchyard, near
Aberfeldy, Perthshire:--
In memory of Captain James Carmichael, of Bockland's Regiment.--Died
25th Nov. 1758:
Where now, O Son of Mars, is Honour's aim?
What once thou wast or wished, no more's thy claim.
Thy tomb, Carmichael, tells thy Honour's Roll,
And man is born, as thee, to be forgot.
But virtue lives to glaze thy honours o'er,
And Heaven will smile when brittle stone's no more.
The following is inscribed on a gravestone in Fort William Cemetery:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Curious Epitaphs, Collected from the Graveyards of Great Britain and Ireland. — John Shaqi
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