Cynthia: With an Introduction by Maurice HewlettMerrick, Leonard
General
Cynthia: With an Introduction by Maurice Hewlett
Merrick, Leonard
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Novelists -- Fiction
Next, he questioned inwardly what _she_ was thinking, and attempted,
in a mental metamorphosis, to put himself in her place. It made him
feel horribly sorry for her. He pitied her hotly, though he could
not say so; and by a sudden impulse he squeezed her gloved fingers
again, with remorseful sympathy. At the moment that he was moved to
the demonstration, however, she was really wishing that the dressmaker
had cut the corsage of her blue theatre frock square, instead of
in a "V." She was sure it would have looked much better. He was
agreeably conscious that his mind had "something feminine in it" and
congratulated himself on his insight into hers. Some men would have
failed to comprehend! Cynthia was distressfully conscious that the
tears with which she was fighting had made her nose red, and she longed
for an opportunity to use her powder-puff. The engine screamed. Both
spoke perfunctorily. The train sped on.
* * * * *
As he sat by her side before the sea, he looked, not at the girl but
within him. He thought of the book that had formed in his head, and
perhaps his paramount feeling was impatience, and the desire to find
the first chapter already materialising into words. They were married.
The unconscious pretences of the betrothal period were over in both. To
him, as well as to her, the magic, the subtile enchantment, was past.
She was still Cynthia--more than ever Cynthia, he understood; but there
had been a fascination when "Cynthia" was a goddess to him, which an
acquaintance with strings and buttons had destroyed. The _corylopsis_
stood in a squat little bottle with a silver lid among brushes and
hair-pins on a toilet-table, and his senses swam no more when he
detected its faintness on her frock.
Companionship, and not worship, was required now, and neither found the
other quite so companionable as had been expected. This the girl in her
heart excused less readily than the man.
Primarily, indeed, the latter refused to acknowledge it. It was
preposterous to suppose that if they did not possess much in common,
he would riot have perceived the disparity during the engagement!
Then he reminded himself that his life might have tendered him a
shade intolerant; he must remember that the subject of literary work,
all-engrossing to his own mind, made on hers unaccustomed demands. To
try to phrase a sensation, the attempt to seize a fleeting impression
so delicately that it would survive the process and not expire on the
pen's point, were instinctive habits with himself; to her they appeared
motiveless and wearisome games.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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