Fair warning, then, to idle lookers on Who criticise the centre of my face! The critic, if a gentleman, will get,-- Before he flies,--in front and higher too, My custom's such, some steel instead of leather! GUICHE (_who with the marquises, has come down from the stage_). The gentleman is getting very tiresome! VICOMTE DE VALVERT (_shrugging his shoulders_). He is a braggart! GUICHE. And no one answers him?.... THE VICOMTE. No one? Just wait. Such a retort as I'm going to send him! (_He advances toward Cyrano, who has been looking at him, and draws himself up with an air of foppish vanity._) You.... you have a nose.... hum! a nose, Sir, that is.... very large. CYRANO (_very quietly and seriously_). Very large, indeed! VICOMTE (_laughing_). Ha! Ha! CYRANO (_with great self-possession_). Is that all? VICOMTE. Well, I.... CYRANO. No, no, that's a little too short, young man! You might have said.... Well.... many things.... in different keys. For instance, listen: _Aggressive_: "I, Sir, had I such a nose, would at once have it amputated."--_Friendly_: "It must dip into your glass. To drink with comfort, you should have a hanap constructed!"--_Descriptive_: "It is a rock!... a peak!!.... a headland!!! More than a headland, a whole peninsula!"--_Inquisitive_: "What may this oblong thing be used for? A writing-desk or a tool-chest?"--_Pleasant_: "Do you love birds so much that you feel bound to offer them so comfortable a resting place?"--_Fierce_: "When you use tobacco, Sir, can you emit smoke from that nose without your neighbours' crying that there is a chimney on fire?"--_Thoughtful_: "Be careful; so much top-hamper might cause you to fall!"--_Affectionate_: "Have a parasol made for it; the sun might fade its colour!"--_Pedantic_: "For so much flesh on so much bone beneath the forehead, we must go back, Sir, to the animal Aristophanes calls Hippocampelephantocamelos!"--_Flippant_: "Why! man, is that the fashion for hooks? Certainly convenient for hanging up a hat!"--_Emphatic_: "Masterly nose, no wind can make you catch aught but a fractional cold! None but a northern hurricane!"--_Dramatic_: "When it bleeds, we have the Red Sea!"--_Admiringly_: "For a perfumer, what a sign!"--_Lyric_: "Is it a shell trumpet, and are you a triton?"--_Innocent_: "When is this monument open to visitors?"--_Respectful_: "This is really owning a mansion with a gable on it!"--_Countrylike_: "That be not a nose, but a big turnip, or a young melon!"--_Military_: "Point against cavalry!"--_Practical_: "Will you put it up in a lottery? It will surely be the largest prize!"--Finally, to parody the grief of Pyramus: