Historical fiction; Soldiers -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
Fourteen years! It had been so long--so unbelievably long. Surely their
space might well have dimmed the memory of a dead-and-gone disgrace. He
himself--except at excruciating moments like this--had taught himself to
forget. Why couldn’t others--especially such of them as consistently
used the same form of bottled nepenthe as did he?
It was so profitless to conjure up ghosts. Why not “let the dead past
bury its dead,” as this new Eastern poet, Longfellow, had recently put
it in a poem reprinted in the Ideala _Herald_?
Yet Stage’s slur had awakened memories as fierce as they were
infrequent. And they dogged Dad’s lagging steps as he shambled up Main
Street, goading him into an unwontedly lively pace.
Morbidly he forced his memory to cast back to that horror trip across
Mexico; to the shamefaced and semi-delirious return of the travel-beaten
outcast to his old home.
And now as though it were but a day before, instead of fourteen endless
years, he recalled that return: The grins or contempt of his old
neighbors; his son’s disgust, veiled in solicitude for the half-dead
wanderer; the totally unveiled scorn of his son’s rich young wife.
It had all been a hideous nightmare. To soften its horror he had--for
the first time in his life--willfully gotten drunk.
And liquor had laid a kindly benumbing hand on the shame-torn spirit.
So kindly and so benumbing a touch that he had sought its comfort again
and yet again.
His was not the drunkard temperament. He drank, at first not for what
drink could give him, but for what it could and did forgive him. So
that, in time, under the comforter’s aid, life had lost its razor-edge,
and the man was well content to drift on in not unhappy worthlessness.
In the beginning he had striven to take up his business where, two years
earlier, he had dropped it; the business that in his absence had thriven
and grown right flourishingly under the wise management of his
splendidly faultless son.
But two years in the open and the aftermath of disgrace had done much to
unfit the older man for every-day counting-room routine.
New methods, too, had come into vogue; methods to which he could not
readily adapt himself and which were as second nature to his son. The
latter, helped by his wife’s money, had branched out vigorously and
wisely in many lines of commerce.
The father soon felt himself an interloper in the business he himself
had founded. And drink did not aid either his work therein nor his
usefulness to the firm.
Wherefore he had eagerly seized upon his son’s tactful suggestion that
the senior member retire from active business and receive a small yearly
income from the concern’s revenues.
For the past twelve years he had lived thus; working not at all save
daily in the garden plot that surrounded a cottage he occupied on the
lower, or river, end of Main Street; a cottage that had belonged to his
mother and that was renovated for his use.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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