Upon the slope of the Peak it was silent enough. The girl's eyes went
out across the shadowy plain below to where the water was shining in its
own gray light, but she uttered not a word. The man leant his head upon
his hand as he looked up to her face.
“What is the 'Ave' you are breathing to the sunset, Miss Gerald?” he
said at length, and she gave a little start and looked at him. “What is
the vesper hymn your heart has been singing all this time?”
She laughed. “No hymn, no song.”
“I saw it upon your face,” he said. “I saw its melody in your eyes; and
yet--yet I cannot understand it--I am too gross to be able to translate
it. I suppose if a man had sensitive hearing the wind upon the blades
of grass would make good music to him, but most people are dull to
everything but the rolling of barrels and such-like music.”
“I had not even a musical thought,” said the girl. “I am afraid that if
all I thought were translated into words, the result would be a jumble:
you know what that means.”
“Yes. Heaven is a jumble, isn't it? A bit of wonderful blue here, and
a shapeless cloud there--a few faint breaths of music floating about a
place of green, and an odour of a field of flowers. Yes, all dreams are
jumbles.”
“And I was dreaming?” she said. “Yes, I dare say my confusion of thought
without a single idea may be called by courtesy a dream.”
“And now have you awakened?”
“Dreams must break and dissolve some time, I suppose, Mr. Markham.”
“They must, they must,” he said. “I wonder when will my awaking come.”
“Have you a dream?” she asked, with a laugh.
“I am living one,” he answered.
“Living one?”
“Living one. My life has become a dream to me. How am I beside you? How
is it possible that I could be beside you? Either of two things must
be a dream--either my past life is a dream, or I am living one in this
life.”
“Is there so vast a difference between them?” she asked, looking at him.
His eyes were turned away from her.
“Vast? Vast?” he repeated musingly. Then he rose to his feet and looked
out oceanwards. “I don't know what is vast,” he said. Then he looked
down to her. “Miss Gerald, I don't believe that my recollection of my
past is in the least correct. My memory is a falsehood utterly. For it
is quite impossible that this body of mine--this soul of mine--could
have passed through such a change as I must have passed through if
my memory has got anything of truth in it. My God! my God! The
recollections that come to me are, I know, impossible.”
“I don't understand you, Mr. Markham,” said Daireen.
Once more he threw himself on the short tawny herbage beside her.
“Have you not heard of men being dragged back when they have taken a
step beyond the barrier that hangs between life and death--men who have
had one foot within the territory of death?”
“I have heard of that.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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