Shyly, like a criminal, Paul slunk round the festive scene. A fear of
strangers had always been his peculiarity, but never yet had his heart
fluttered so anxiously as at this moment.
“Is Elsbeth there?” Nowhere in all the crowd were there any traces of
the inmates of the White House, but then his family also seemed to
have disappeared without leaving any trace. Once he thought the cooing
laughter of the twins caught his ear, but the next moment the noise had
drowned it.
Twice he had already made the round; then suddenly--his heart threatened
to stop from surprise and rapture--he saw, quite close before him, his
mother and father sitting in peaceful intercourse at the same table with
the Douglas family.
His father rested his elbows on the table, and, red with excitement,
talked eagerly to Mr. Douglas. The broad-shouldered giant with the bushy
gray beard listened to him silently, at times nodding and smiling to
himself. The slender, delicate figure with the sunken cheeks and the
blue rings round her eyes, who leaned wearily against the trunk of a
tree and clasped his mother’s hand with her thin white fingers, that was
his godmother, who had always seemed to him like an angel from the other
world. But next to her--next to her, the lady in the modest gray dress,
her fair hair simply combed back--
“Elsbeth! Elsbeth!” cried a voice within him; and then suddenly a wall
of clouds sank down between him and her, and froze his innermost soul,
and veiled his eyes with a damp mist.
Opposite to her sat a gentleman with a saucy-looking fair mustache, and
still more saucy blue eyes, who bent towards her familiarly, while a
smile flitted over her quiet face.
“She will marry that man,” he said to himself, with a conviction which
seemed to be more than a jealous foreboding. With the clear-sightedness
of love he had understood that these two natures harmonized and must
seek each other. And perhaps they had already found one another while he
himself wasted his days in idle dreams.
He stood there as if stunned, and scrutinized the man who suddenly had
rendered it clear to him what he had lost--lost, indeed, without ever
having possessed it.
How could he ever have dared to compare himself to this man that, to a
hair, was the ideal man of whom he had always dreamed?
Bold and energetic and triumphant (that’s what he had meant to be one
day), exactly like the strange young man who looked at Elsbeth with his
frivolous smile. He also wore patent-leather boots and a fashionable
colored necktie, and his suit was made of the finest shining black
cloth.
Almost for an hour Paul stood there without daring to move from his
position, devouring Elsbeth and her vis-à-vis with his eyes.
The night came. He scarcely perceived it. Long rows of lanterns were
lighted, and shed forth an uncertain light on the gay crowd.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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