After half an hour’s drive over the heavy rain-soaked clay roads, they
reached their destination. She could have shrieked aloud when she saw
the new house before her in all its desolation and ruin.
Wretched mud farm-buildings; a swampy yard; a low dwelling-house with
a shingle roof, from the walls of which the chalk had crumbled down and
showed the bare wall underneath; a wilderness of a garden, in which
the last sad remains of the summer asters and sunflowers stood among
half-decayed vegetables, round about a gaudy painted fence, which seemed
to have received extreme unction just before its end--this was the place
where the family of the ruined squire had to live henceforth.
This was the place where little Paul grew up, and to which the love of
his childhood, the care of half his life was devoted.
He was in his early years a delicate, sickly creature, and many a
night his mother trembled lest the feeble light of his life should be
extinguished before dawn. At such times she would sit in the dark, low
bedroom, leaning her elbow on the edge of his little bed, gazing with
feverish eyes at his little thin body, which was painfully convulsed by
spasms.
But he passed all the crises of his early childhood, and at five years
old, though pale and weak of limb and almost careworn in face--for he
had really retained the old look--he was a healthy boy, who gave promise
of long life.
At this time his first recollections begin. The earliest, which in
after-years he often recalled, was as follows:
The room is half dark. Icicles are clinging to the windows, and through
the curtains shines the red glow of the sunset. The elder brothers
have gone skating, but he is in his little bed--for he has to go to bed
early--and near him sits his mother, one hand encircling his neck, and
the other on the edge of the cradle, in which the two little sisters
sleep, which Master Stork brought a year ago, both on the same day.
“Mamma, tell me a fairy tale,” he pleads.
And his mother told him one. What? He could only remember very faintly,
but there was something in it about a gray woman who had visited his
mother in all her sad hours, a woman with a pale and haggard face, and
dark, tear-stained eyes. She had come like a shadow, like a shadow she
had gone, had extended her hands over his mother’s head, she knew not
whether for a blessing or for a curse, and had spoken words which
had reference to him--little Paul. In them there was the question of
sacrifice and of redemption; the words he had forgotten again--probably
he was too stupid to understand them. But one thing still remained
clearly enough: while he listened to his mother’s words, breathless
with terror and expectation, he suddenly saw the gray figure of whom
she spoke, bodily standing at the door--exactly the same, with her arms
uplifted, and her pale, sad face. He hid his head on his mother’s arm;
his heart beat, his breath began to fail him, and, in deadly terror, he
screamed out,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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