Dandy Dick: A Play in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
Dandy Dick: A Play in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
English drama -- 19th century
[_Speaks to GEORGIANA excitedly._
SIR TRISTRAM.
[_To NOAH._] Have you got that?
NOAH.
[_Writing laboriously with his legs curled round the chair and his
head on the table._] Ay. I'm spelling it my own way.
SIR TRISTRAM.
Poor dear old Gus! [_Dictating._] "Description!"
NOAH.
Oh noa!
SIR TRISTRAM.
"Description!"
NOAH.
I suppose he was jest the hordinary sort o' lookin' man.
SIR TRISTRAM.
No, no! "Description!"
GEORGIANA.
[_Turning from HANNAH, excitedly._] Description--a little, short, thin
man, with black hair and a squint!
SIR TRISTRAM.
[_To GEORGIANA._] No, no, he isn't.
GEORGIANA.
Yes, he is!
SIR TRISTRAM.
Georgiana! What are you talking about?
GEORGIANA.
I'm Gus's sister--I ought to know what he's like!
SIR TRISTRAM.
Good heavens, Georgiana--your mind is not going?
GEORGIANA.
[_Clutching SIR TRISTRAM'S arm and whispering in his ear, as she
points to the cell door._] He's in there!
SIR TRISTRAM.
Eh!
GEORGIANA.
Gus is the villain found dosing Dandy Dick last night!
SIR TRISTRAM.
[_Falling back._] Oh! [_HANNAH seizes SIR TRISTRAM and talks to him
rapidly._] [_To NOAH._] What have you written?
NOAH.
I've written "Hanswers to the name o' Gus!"
GEORGIANA.
[_Snatching the paper from him._] It's not wanted. I've altered my
mind. I'm too busy to bother about him this week.
NOAH.
What! Hafter wasting my time?
GEORGIANA.
Look here--you're the constable who took the man in the Deanery
Stables last night?
NOAH.
Ay. [_Looking out of the window._] There's my cart outside ready to
take the scoundrel over to Durnstone.
GEORGIANA.
I should like to see him.
NOAH.
You can view him passin' out.
[_He tucks the baking-tin under his arm and goes up to the cell door._
GEORGIANA.
[_To herself._] Oh, Gus, Gus!
NOAH.
[_Unlocking the door._] I warn yer. 'E's a awful looking creature.
GEORGIANA.
I can stand it; I love horrors!
[_NOAH goes into the cell, closing the door after him._
Tris!
SIR TRISTRAM.
Georgiana!
GEORGIANA.
What was my brother's motive in bolusing Dandy last night?
SIR TRISTRAM.
I can't think. The first thing to do is to get him out of this hole.
This good woman has arranged for his escape.
GEORGIANA.
But we can't trust to Gus rolling out of a flying dogcart! Why, it's
as much as I could do!
HANNAH.
Oh, yes, lady, he'll do it. I've prewided for everything. Don't betray
him to Noah! There's another--a awfuller charge hangin' over his
reverend 'ead.
SIR TRISTRAM.
Another charge!
GEORGIANA.
Another! Oh Tris! To think my own stock should run vicious like this.
HANNAH.
Hush, lady!
[_NOAH comes out of the cell with THE DEAN, who is in handcuffs._
GEORGIANA _and_ SIR TRISTRAM.
Oh!
THE DEAN.
[_Raising his eyes, sees SIR TRISTRAM and GEORGIANA, and recoils with
a groan, sinking on to a chair._] Oh!
NOAH.
Oop you get!
SIR TRISTRAM.
No, no, stay! I am the owner of the horse stabled at the Deanery. I
make no charge against this wretched person. [_To THE DEAN._] Oh man,
man!
THE DEAN.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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