“I like to listen to the oar.” “So do I.” “If you had not come, I should have been dead now.” “I cannot bear you to speak of that. I hope you will never be sorry that I came.” “I cannot see how I shall be glad to live. The _maggior dolore_ and the _miseria_ have lasted longer than the _tempo felice_.” She paused and then went on dreamily,—“_Dolore—miseria_—I think those words are alive.” Deronda was mute: to question her seemed an unwarrantable freedom; he shrank from appearing to claim the authority of a benefactor, or to treat her with the less reverence because she was in distress. She went on musingly, “I thought it was not wicked. Death and life are one before the Eternal. I know our fathers slew their children and then slew themselves, to keep their souls pure. I meant it so. But now I am commanded to live. I cannot see how I shall live.” “You will find friends. I will find them for you.” She shook her head and said mournfully, “Not my mother and brother. I cannot find them.” “You are English? You must be—speaking English so perfectly.” She did not answer immediately, but looked at Deronda again, straining to see him in the double light. Until now she had been watching the oar. It seemed as if she were half roused, and wondered which part of her impression was dreaming and which waking. Sorrowful isolation had benumbed her sense of reality, and the power of distinguishing outward and inward was continually slipping away from her. Her look was full of wondering timidity such as the forsaken one in the desert might have lifted to the angelic vision before she knew whether his message was in anger or in pity. “You want to know if I am English?” she said at last, while Deronda was reddening nervously under a gaze which he felt more fully than he saw. “I want to know nothing except what you like to tell me,” he said, still uneasy in the fear that her mind was wandering. “Perhaps it is not good for you to talk.” “Yes, I will tell you. I am English-born. But I am a Jewess.” Deronda was silent, inwardly wondering that he had not said this to himself before, though any one who had seen delicate-faced Spanish girls might simply have guessed her to be Spanish. “Do you despise me for it?” she said presently in low tones, which had a sadness that pierced like a cry from a small dumb creature in fear. “Why should I?” said Deronda. “I am not so foolish.” “I know many Jews are bad.” “So are many Christians. But I should not think it fair for you to despise me because of that.” “My mother and brother were good. But I shall never find them. I am come a long way—from abroad. I ran away; but I cannot tell you—I cannot speak of it. I thought I might find my mother again—God would guide me. But then I despaired. This morning when the light came, I felt as if one word kept sounding within me—Never! never! But now—I begin—to think—” her words were broken by rising sobs—“I am commanded to live—perhaps we are going to her.”