Presenting a Peerless Personnel of Artistic Attractions Greatest in the Galaxy of Gaiety, is Hartley L. Kirby Monologuist and minstrel, dancer and vaudevillian in his terpsichorean travesties, buoyant burlesques, inimitable imitations, screaming impersonations, refined comedy sketches and popular song hits of the day. The Blanchet Brothers Daring, Dazzling, Danger-Loving, Death-Defying Demons Joyous jugglers, acrobatic artists, constrictorial contortionists, exquisite equilibrists, in their marvellous, mysterious, unparalleled performances. Umslopogus The Patagonian Chieftain The lowest type of human intellect This formerly ferocious fiend has so far succumbed to the softer wiles of civilization that he is no longer a cannibal, and it is now safe to put him on exhibition. But to prevent accidents he is heavily manacled, and the public is warned not to come too near. Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! The management also presents the balloon of Prof. Alonzo Ackerman The Famous Aeronaut in which he has made his Wonderful Ascension and Parachute Drop many times, reaching remarkable altitudes Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! Saturday, 3 P. M. Old Vandegrift School Lot Admission 50 Cents Well, fur a writer he certainly laid over Looey, Doctor Kirby did--more cheerful-like, you might say. I seen right off I was to be the Patagonian Chieftain. I was getting more and more of an actor right along--first an Injun, then a wild Borneo, and now a Patagonian. “But who is this Alonzo Ackerman?” I asts him. “Celebrated balloonist,” says he, “and the man that invented parachutes. They eat out of his hand.” “Where is he?” asts I. “How should I know?” he says. “How is he going up, then?” I asts. The doctor chuckles and says it is a good bill, a better bill than he thought; that it is getting in its work already. He says to me to read it careful and see if it says Alonzo Ackerman is going up. Well, it don't. But any one would of thought so the first look. I reckon that bill was some of a liar herself, not lying outright, but jest hinting a lie. They is a lot of mean, stingy-souled kind of people wouldn't never lie to help a friend, but Doctor Kirby wasn't one of 'em. “But,” I says, “when that crowd finds out Alonzo ain't going up they will be purty mad.” “Oh,” says he, “I don't think so. The American public are a good-natured set of chuckle-heads, mostly. If they get sore I'll talk 'em out of it.” If he had any faults at all--and mind you, I ain't saying Doctor Kirby had any--the one he had hardest was the belief he could talk any crowd into any notion, or out of it, either. And he loved to do it jest fur the fun of it. He'd rather have the feeling he was doing that than the money any day. He was powerful vain about that gab of his'n, Doctor Kirby was.