I have travelled around considerable since them days, and I have mixed
up along of many kinds of people in many different places, and some
of 'em was cussers to admire. But I never hearn such cussing before or
since as old Hank done that night. He busted his own records and riz
higher'n his own water marks for previous times. I wasn't nothing but
a little kid then, and skeercly fitten fur to admire the full beauty of
it. They was deep down cusses, that come from the heart. Looking back
at it after all these years, I can believe what Brother Cartwright said
himself that night, that it wasn't natcheral cussing and some higher
power, like a demon or a evil sperrit, must of entered into Hank's human
carkis and give that turrible eloquence to his remarks. It busted out
every few minutes, and the women would put their fingers into their ears
till a spell was over. And it was personal, too. Hank, he would listen
until he hearn a woman's voice that he knowed, and then he would let
loose on her fambly, going backwards to her grandfathers and downwards
to her children's children. If her father had once stolen a hog, or her
husband done any disgrace that got found out on him, Hank would put it
all into his gineral remarks, with trimmings onto it.
Brother Cartwright, he steps up to the hole in the floor when he first
comes in and he says, gentle-like and soothing, like a undertaker when he
tells you where to set at a home funeral:
"Brother Walters."
"Brother!" Hank yells out, "don't ye brother me, you sniffling,
psalm-singing, yaller-faced, pigeon-toed hippercrit, you! Get me a
ladder, gol dern you, and I'll come out'n here and learn you to brother
me, I will." Only that wasn't nothing to what Hank really said to that
preacher; no more like it than a little yaller, fluffy canary is like a
buzzard.
"Brother Walters," says the preacher, ca'am but firm, "we have all
decided that you ain't going to come out of that cistern till you sign
the pledge."
And Hank tells him what he thinks of pledges and him and church doings,
and it wasn't purty. And he says if he was as deep in eternal fire as
what he now is in rain-water, and every fish that nibbles at his toes
was a preacher with a red-hot pitchfork a-jabbing at him, they could jab
till the hull hereafter turned into snow afore he'd ever sign nothing a
man like Mr. Cartwright give him to sign. Hank was stubborner than any
mule he ever nailed shoes onto, and proud of being that stubborn. That
town was a awful religious town, and Hank he knowed he was called the
most onreligious man in it, and he was proud of that too; and if any one
called him a heathen it jest plumb tickled him all over.
"Brother Walters," says that preacher, "we are going to pray for you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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