"His wife appeared in the rusty, familiar garments of the
money-lender.
"'He tried to humble me this morning,' said she, 'an' I humbled
him. He began to order me around, an' I told him I wouldn't hev
it. "Then," says he, "you better put on the breeches an' I'll put
on the dress." "Very well," says I, and grabbed the breeches, an'
give him the dress. I know ye, Brown; ye'll never abuse me.'
"'I'll get a divorce--I'll have the law on ye,' said the old man,
angrily, as he walked the floor in his gown of calico.
"'Go on,' said she. 'Go to the lawyer now.'
"'Will ye git me a pair o' breeches?'
"'No; I took yer offer, an' ye can't have 'em 'til ye've done the
work that goes with the dress. Come, now, I want my dinner.'
"'I can't find a stitch in the house,' said he, turning to his
neighbour. 'I wish ye'd bring me some clothes.'
"The caller made no reply, but came away smiling, and told of
Brown's dilemma.
"'It's good for him,' said the neighbour's wife. 'Don't ye take
him any clothes. He's bullied three wives to death, an' now I'm
glad he's got a wife that can bully him.'
"Brown waited long, but no help arrived. The wife was firm and he
very hungry. She called him 'wife'--a title not calculated to
soothe a man of his agility and vigour. He galloped across the
room at her, yelling as he brandished a poker. She quickly took it
away and drove him into a corner. He had taken up the poker and
now seemed likely to perish by it. Then, going to the stove with
this odd weapon, she stuck its end in the fire, and Brown had no
sooner flung a wash-basin across the room at her head than she ran
after him with the hot poker. Then, calling for help, he ran
around the stove and out of doors like a wild man, his dress of
calico and his long hair flying in the breeze. Pedestrians halted,
men and women came out of their homes. The bare feet of the
money-lender were flying with great energy.
"'She's druv him crazy,' a man shouted.
"'An' knocked the socks off him,' said another.
"'Must have been tryin' t' make him into a rag doll,' was the
comment of a third.
"'Brown, if yer goin' t' be a womern,' said one, as they surrounded
him, 'ye'd ought to put on a longer dress. Yer enough t' scare a
hoss.'
"Brown was inarticulate with anger.
"A number of men judging him insane, seized and returned him to his
punishment. They heard the unhappy story with loud laughter.
"'You'd better give up an' go to the kitchen. Brown,' said one of
them; and there are those who maintain that he got the dinner
before he got the trousers."
"Well, God be praised!" said Darrel, when Trove had finished
reading the story; "Brooke was unable to foreclose that day, an'
the next was Sunday, an' bright an' early on Monday morning I paid
the debt."
"Mrs. Vaughn has a daughter," said Trove, blushing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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