But Lady Emily made no reply. She began to toss about as before, and show
signs of inexplicable discomfort. Margaret had hardly been gone two
minutes, when the invalid moaned out:
“What a time Margaret is gone!—when will she be back?”
“I am here, my love,” said Mrs. Elton.
“Yes, yes; thank you. But I want Margaret.”
“She will be here presently. Have patience, my dear.”
“Please, don’t let Miss Cameron come near me. I am afraid I am very
wicked, but I can’t bear her to come near me.”
“No, no, dear; we will keep you to ourselves.”
“Is Mr.—, the foreign gentleman, I mean—below?”
“No. He is gone.”
“Are you sure? I can hardly believe it.”
“What do you mean, dear? I am sure he is gone.”
Lady Emily did not answer. Margaret returned. She took the beef-tea, and
grew quiet again.
“You must not leave her ladyship, Margaret,” whispered her mistress. “She
has taken it into her head to like no one but you, and you must just stay
with her.”
“Very well, ma’am. I shall be most happy.”
Mrs. Elton left the room. Lady Emily said:
“Read something to me, Margaret.”
“What shall I read?”
“Anything you like.”
Margaret got a Bible, and read to her one of her father’s favourite
chapters, the fortieth of Isaiah.
“I have no right to trust in God, Margaret.”
“Why, my lady?”
“Because I do not feel any faith in him; and you know we cannot be
accepted without faith.”
“That is to make God as changeable as we are, my lady.”
“But the Bible says so.”
“I don’t think it does; but if an angel from heaven said so, I would not
believe it.”
“Margaret!”
“My lady, I love God with all my heart, and I cannot bear you should think
so of him. You might as well say that a mother would go away from her
little child, lying moaning in the dark, because it could not see her, and
was afraid to put its hand out into the dark to feel for her.”
“Then you think he does care for us, even when we are very wicked. But he
cannot bear wicked people.”
“Who dares to say that?” cried Margaret. “Has he not been making the world
go on and on, with all the wickedness that is in it; yes, making new
babies to be born of thieves and murderers and sad women and all, for
hundreds of years? God help us, Lady Emily! If he cannot bear wicked
people, then this world is hell itself, and the Bible is all a lie, and
the Saviour did never die for sinners. It is only the holy Pharisees that
can’t bear wicked people.”
“Oh! how happy I should be, if that were true! I should not be afraid
now.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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