When Hugh came to himself, he was lying, in the first grey of the dawn,
amidst the dews and vapours of the morning woods. He rose and looked
around him. The Ghost’s Walk lay in long silence before him. Here and
there a little bird moved and peeped. The glory of a new day was climbing
up the eastern coast of heaven. It would be a day of late summer, crowned
with flame, and throbbing with ripening life. But for him the spirit was
gone out of the world, and it was nought but a mass of blind, heartless
forces.
Possibly, had he overheard the conversation, the motions only of which he
had overseen the preceding night, he would, although equally perplexed,
have thought more gently of Euphra; but, in the mood into which even then
he must have been thrown, his deeper feelings towards her could hardly
have been different from what they were now. Although he had often felt
that Euphra was not very good, not a suspicion had crossed his mind as to
what he would have called the purity of her nature. Like many youths, even
of character inferior to his own, he had the loftiest notions of feminine
grace, and unspottedness in thought and feeling, not to say action and
aim. Now he found that he had loved a woman who would creep from her
chamber, at the cost of great suffering, and almost at the risk of her
life, to meet, in the night and the woods, a man no better than an
assassin—probably a thief. Had he been more versed in the ways of
women, or in the probabilities of things, he would have judged that the
very extravagance of the action demanded a deeper explanation than what
seemed to lie on the surface. Yet, although he judged Euphra very hardly
upon those grounds, would he have judged her differently had he actually
known all? About this I am left to conjecture alone.
But the effect on Hugh was different from what the ordinary reader of
human nature might anticipate. Instead of being torn in pieces by storms
of jealousy, all the summer growths of his love were chilled by an
absolute frost of death. A kind of annihilation sank upon the image of
Euphra. There had been no such Euphra. She had been but a creation of his
own brain. It was not so much that he ceased to love, as that the being
beloved—not died, but—ceased to exist. There were moments in
which he seemed to love her still with a wild outcry of passion; but the
frenzy soon vanished in the selfish feeling of his own loss. His love was
not a high one—not such as thine, my Falconer. Thine was love
indeed; though its tale is too good to tell, simply because it is too good
to be believed; and we do men a wrong sometimes when we tell them more
than they can receive.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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