Thought, Speculation, Suggestion, crowded upon each other, till at length
his mind sank passive, and served only as the lists in which the
antagonist thoughts fought a confused battle without herald or umpire.
But it is amazing to think how soon he began to look back upon his former
fascination with a kind of wondering unbelief. This bespoke the strength
of Hugh’s ideal sense, as well as the weakness of his actual love. He
could hardly even recall the feelings with which, on some well-remembered
occasion, he had regarded her, and which then it had seemed impossible he
should ever forget. Had he discovered the cloven foot of a demon under
those trailing garments—he could hardly have ceased to love her more
suddenly or entirely. But there is an aching that is worse to bear than
pain.
I trust my reader will not judge very hardly of Hugh, because of the
change which had thus suddenly passed upon his feelings. He felt now just
as he had felt on waking in the morning and finding that he had been in
love with a dream-lady all the night: it had been very delightful, and it
was sad that it was all gone, and could come back no more. But the wonder
to me is, not that some loves will not stand the test of absence, but
that, their nature being what it is, they should outlast one week of
familiar intercourse.
He mourned bitterly over the loss of those feelings, for they had been
precious to him. But could he help it? Indeed he could not; for his love
had been fascination; and the fascination having ceased, the love was
gone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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