De turkey and de law : $b A comedy in three acts — John Shaqi
De turkey and de law : $b A comedy in three actsHurston, Zora Neale
General
De turkey and de law : $b A comedy in three acts
Hurston, Zora Neale
African Americans -- Drama; American drama
LINDSAY
(pointing at Essie) You see dat gal shakin' herself at her mammy? De
sassy lil binch needs her guts stomped out. (to Essie) Run! I'm comin'
on down there an' tell yo' ma how 'omanish you is, shakin' yo'self at
grown folks. (Essie walks slower and shakes her skirt contemptously.
Lindsay jumps to his feet as if to pursue her.) You must smell
yo'self! (Essie exits.) Now de rest of you haitians scatter way from
in front dis store. Dis ain't no place for chillen, nohow. (gesture of
shooing) Gwan! Thin out! Every time a grownperson open they mouf y'all
right dere to gaze down they throat. Git! (The children exit sullenly
right. In the silence that follows the cracking of Walter's peanut
shells can be heard very plainly.)
HAMBO
Walter, God a' mighty! You better quit eatin' em ground peas de way
you do. You gointer die wid de colic.
LINDSAY
Aw, taint gointer hurt him. I don't b'lieve uh cord uh wood would lay
heavy on Walter's belly. He kin eat mo' penders than Brazzle's mule.
WALTER
(laughing) Aw naw, don't throw me in wid dat mule. He could eat up
camp-meetin, back off scociation and drink Jurdan dry.
LINDSAY
And still stay so po' till he wuzn't nothin atall but a mule frame.
(Enter Lige Moseley right) Taint never been no mule in de world lak
dat ole yaller mule since Jonah went to joppy.
(Lige seats himself on the floor on the other side of the steps. Pulls
out a bone toothpick and begins to pick his teeth)
LIGE
Y'all still talkin bout Brazzle's ole useter-be mule?
HAMBO
Yeah. Memeber dat time Brazzle hitched him to de plow and took him to
Eshleman's new ground?
LIGE
And he laid down before he'd plow a lick. Sho I do! But who ever seen
him work? All you ever did see was him and Brazzle fightin up and down
de furrows. (all laugh) He was so mean he would even try to kick you
if you went in his stall to carry him some corn.
WALTER
Nothin but pure concentrated meanness stuffed into uh mule hide. Thass
de reason he wouldn't git fat--just too mean.
LIGE
Sho was skinny now. You could use his ribs for a washboard and hang de
clothes up on his hips to dry. (all laugh)
HAMBO
Lige, you kin lie [Note: "like" crossed out] lak cross ties [Note
inserted text: from Jacksonville to Key West.]. But layin all sides to
jokes, when they told me dat mule was dead, uh just took and knocked
off from work to see him drug out lak all de rest of de folks, and
folkses dat mule wuz too contrary to lay down on his side and die. He
laid on his raw-boney back wid his foots stickin straight up in de air
lak he wuz fightin something.
LINDSAY
He wuz--bet he fought ole death lak a natural man. Ah seen his bones
yistiddy, out dere on de edge of de cypress swamp. De buzzards done
picked em clean and de elements done bleached em.
LIGE
Everybody went to dat draggin out. Even Joe Clarke shet up his store
dat mornin and went (turns his head and calls into the store) didn't
you, Mr. Clarke?
CLARKE'S VOICE
Didn't I whut? (enters and stands in door)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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