De turkey and de law : $b A comedy in three acts — John Shaqi
De turkey and de law : $b A comedy in three actsHurston, Zora Neale
General
De turkey and de law : $b A comedy in three acts
Hurston, Zora Neale
African Americans -- Drama; American drama
CLARKE
Too bad you done dat, Hambo, cause Ah was gointer beat you at dat (he
rises and starts towards the door of the store as the crowd roars in
laughter)
HAMBO
You mean you was gointer beat me to de door, not a game Of checkers.
Ah done run de ole coon in his hole.
LIGE
Well, Hambo, you done got to be so hard at checkers, come on less see
whut you can do wid de cards. (He pulls out a soiled deck from his
coat pocket and moves toward the bench at the left of the porch) You
take Lum and me and Walter will wear you out.
HAMBO
You know I don't play no cards.
LUM
We aint playin for no money, just a lil Florida flip.
HAMBO
Y'all can't play no Florida flip. 'Fore Ah joined de church there
wasn't a man in de state could beat me wid de cards. But Ahm a deacon
now, in Macedonia Baptist--Ah don't bother wid de cards no mo". (He
and Joe Lindsay go inside store)
LIGE
Well, come on Lum. Walter, git yo'self a partner.
WALTER
(Looking about) Taint nobody to git (looks off right) Here come Dave
Carter.
LIGE
You can't do nothin wid him dese days. He useter choose a game of
cards when he wasn't out huntin, but now when he ain't out huntin
varmints he's huntin' Daisy Blunt. (Enter Dave right with a shot-gun
slung over his shoulder.)
WALTER
Come on, fish, lemme bend a five-up over yo' head. You looks just like
my meat.
DAVE
Ahm on mah way to kill me a turkey gobbler, but if you and Lum thinks
y'all's tush hawgs Ah'll stop long enough to take you down a
button-hole lower. (He sets his gun down and finds a seat and draws it
up to the card table)
WALTER
Naw, Dave, we aint going to fool wid no button-holes we gointer tear
off de whole piece dat de button-holes is in. (They all get set) All
right boys, turn it on and let de bad luck happen.
LIGE
(Probbing the deck) My deal.
WALTER
Watch yo'self Dave, don't get to worryin bout Daisy and let 'em ketch
yo' jack.
LUM
(Winking) What you reckon he gointer be worryin' bout Daisy for? Dot's
Jim's gal.
DAVE
Air Lawd, a heap sees but a few knows. Deal de cards man--you
shufflin' a mighty lot.
WALTER
Sho is--must be tryin' to carry de cut to us.
LIGE
Aw, we ain't gonna cheat you, we gonna beat you. (He slams down the
cards for Dave to cut) Wanna cut 'em?
DAVE
Nope. Taint no use cuttin' a rabbit out when you kin twist him out.
Deal 'em! (Lige deals and turns up Jack of spades.)
WALTER
Yee-ee! Did you snatch dat Jack?
LIGE
Man, you know I ain't snatched no Jack. Whut you doin'?
WALTER
I'm beggin!
LIGE
Go ahead and tell 'em I sent you.
WALTER
Play just like ahm in New York, partner. (scratches his head) We
oughter try to ketch dat Jack.
LIGE
Stick out yo' hand an' you'll draw back a nub.
WALTER
Whut you want me to play for you, partner?
DAVE
Play me a baby diamond.
(Walter plays, then Lum, then Dave)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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