English fiction -- 20th century; English wit and humor; Imaginary letters; Letters in literature
Vitellius, the admiral, has put one of the little pinnaces belonging
to his ship, the _Remus_, at our disposal. So we can go backwards and
forwards whenever we like. The pinnace is managed by one of the quite
young officers--such a nice little boy, and so willing! He doesn’t mind
how long I keep him waiting at the pier. It seems extraordinary that
such young boys should be able to manage a whole boat full of men,
doesn’t it? Ours looks about fifteen years old, but I suppose he is
really much older. I asked him to come and dine with us, and Julius was
cross about it, and said I was making myself ridiculous by talking to
children. But I promise you this boy has much more assurance than many
grown-up men. In fact, once or twice I have had to speak severely to
him because he was on the point of going too far. As it was, I treated
it all as a joke, and told him I was old enough to be his mother.
There have been a lot of the “Lysistratists” here--you know, the women
who are in favour of senators being all women. Of course, I have
nothing against their principles. If a man is a senator why shouldn’t
a woman be? Any woman is cleverer than any man. But I do think their
methods are silly and so _unwomanly_. One of them took a piece of chalk
and wrote “Women and Freedom” on Sejanus’ carpet. And another dressed
herself up as a Numidian slave, and shouted “Justice for Women” just
as he was in the middle of a serious speech at his banquet. But the
sailors like them very much, because they are so graceful, and on board
one of the ships of the fleet--I think it was the _Scipio_--one of the
chief “Lysistratists,” Camilla, entirely converted one of the men of
the “Legio classica”--those kind of half-soldiers, half-sailors, who
keep order on board the ships--and he is now a fervent “Lysistratist”
himself. The other sailors say this is very curious, as the man in
question had such a stern character. But then, you see, Camilla is
quite charming. Sejanus is horribly put out about it, and his house
has to be guarded day and night by soldiers. It is most inconvenient,
because the other day his own daughter Lydia was arrested as she was
going into the house. They had mistaken her for a “Lysistratist.”
Last night all the ships were illuminated with oil lamps, and ten
thousand Egyptian slaves danced and sang in the gardens. The result
was I did not get a wink of sleep, and the worst of it is that these
songs and dances go on all day as well as all night. On the beach, too,
there is every kind of acrobat, gipsy tumblers, and fortune-tellers.
There is a woman here who tells one marvellous things by looking at
one’s hand, only Julius, who, like all husbands, is now and then quite
unaccountably obstinate about little things, absolutely forbade me to
consult her, and so I had to give it up. She told Clodia she would be
married three times.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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