English fiction -- 20th century; English wit and humor; Imaginary letters; Letters in literature
The Empress said that the Christians were disgusting, and that such
vermin ought to be stamped upon. I said that I could not conceive the
attitude of the Christians. Personally I had taken some trouble to
ascertain what their doctrines were, and had interviewed several of the
leading Christians in Greece and Asia. I agreed that Christianity was
the national religion of no one; it was a religion adopted as a protest
against the national religion by men who were infected by the spirit
of all secret societies; that if the Christians refused to observe
public ceremonies and to render homage to those who presided over them
they should also, logically, give up wearing the _toga virilis_. But
if they wished to share the benefit of civil life they should then pay
the necessary honours to those who are charged with administration.
But I added that should they do this I could not understand why
their religion should not be tolerated on the same footing as other
religions, such as that of the Egyptians, since nothing was required of
them which was contrary to their principles.
The Emperor said that the Christians had already made such a thing
impossible. “It is not,” he said, “as if we had ever forced a pious man
to commit an impious action or to say a shameful thing. He would be
quite right in that case to endure any tortures rather than do so. But
it is quite a different thing when a man is ordered to celebrate the
Sun or to sing a beautiful hymn in honour of Athene. These are merely
outward forms of piety, and one cannot have too much piety.”
Here Ummidius Quadratus broke in and said that the Christians argued
that it was a matter which concerned their conscience, which was no
business of the State, and that they were perfectly ready to fulfil any
duties, either civil or military, which had no religious character.
The Empress said she did not know anything about the ideas of the
Christians, but she did think it was a disgraceful thing that in the
present enlightened age people should be allowed to cover children with
flour, to massacre them, and eat them.
I said I did not think the Christians did this. But the Empress said
she knew it was true; she had heard it on the best authority; in fact,
her maid knew some one who had seen them do it.
Here Ummidius Quadratus observed that some people in the best society
had become Christians, and that he had even heard that--and here
he mentioned the niece of a well-known patrician whose name I have
forgotten--was one of them.
The Emperor drew himself up as though some dreadful solecism had been
committed, and told his nephew that he had no right to say so shocking
and so monstrous a thing at his table, especially before a stranger and
a guest.
I will go on with my letter this evening, for a slave has just told me
that we are to start for the picnic at once.
THE CAMELOT JOUSTS
_Guinevere to King Arthur_
CAMELOT, _Monday_.
Dearest Arthur,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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