English fiction -- 20th century; English wit and humor; Imaginary letters; Letters in literature
MYCENAE.
My dear Aegisthus,
We have at last got some news. The Fleet has arrived at Aulis, and they
are waiting for a favourable wind to be able to go on. At present they
are becalmed. They are all well. Iphigenia writes that she is enjoying
herself immensely. She has the decency to add that she misses me. I
have not had a good night’s rest since they have started.
Your most sincere friend,
CLYTAEMNESTRA.
_Clytaemnestra to Aegisthus_
My dear friend,
Please come here at once. I am in dreadful trouble. From the last
letter I received from Agamemnon I understood there was something wrong
and that he was hiding something. To-day I got a letter from Calchas,
breaking to me in the most brutal manner an appalling tragedy and a
savage, horrible, and impious crime! They have sacrificed my darling
Iphigenia--to Artemis, of all goddesses! to get a propitious wind for
their horrible Fleet! I am heartbroken. I cannot write another word.
Please come directly.
Your friend,
CLYTAEMNESTRA.
_Clytaemnestra to Aegisthus_
(_Two months later_)
I see no reason why you should not come back; I have a right to ask
whom I like to stay here. Do come as soon as possible; I am very lonely
without you. Now that I no longer communicate with Agamemnon in order
to get news I have written to Helen and sent the letter by a very
clever silk merchant, who is certain to be able to worm his way into
Troy. Come as soon as you get this.
C.
_P.S._--Agamemnon still writes, but I do not take the slightest notice
of his letters. I trust the Trojans will be victorious. They have at
any rate determined to make a fight for it. Our generals are certain to
quarrel, Achilles and Agamemnon never get on well. And Achilles’ temper
is dreadful.
_Clytaemnestra to Aegisthus_
(_Three months later_)
I can no longer bear these short visits and these long absences. I have
arranged for you to stay here permanently.
I wrote to Agamemnon last month a cold and dignified business letter,
in which I pointed out that unless some man came here to look after
things, everything would go to pieces. I suggested you. I have now got
his answer. He agrees, and thinks it an excellent plan.
Odysseus wrote me, I must say, a most amusing letter. He says
everything is at sixes and sevens, and that Priam’s eldest son is far
the most capable soldier on either side. He expects to win, but says it
will be a far longer business than they thought it would be at first.
Come as quickly as you can. Best and most beloved.
Your C.
_Helen to Clytaemnestra_
(_Ten years later_)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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