Tom had bowed his acknowledgments, the last flower had been flung,
the last cheer had died away as we stepped out into the Strand
together. The street was wrapped in the densest of November fogs.
So thick was it that the lamps, the shop windows, came into sight,
stared at us in ghostly weakness for a moment, and then were gone,
leaving us in Egyptian gloom. I could not hope to see Claire
to-night, and Tom was too modest to offer his congratulations until
the morning. Both he and I were too shaken by the scene just past
for many words, and outside the black fog caught and held us by the
throat.
Even in the pitchy gloom I could feel that Tom's step was buoyant.
He was treading already in imagination the path of love and fame.
How should I have the heart to tell him? How wither the chaplet that
already seemed to bind his brow?
Tom was the first to break the silence which had fallen upon us.
"Jasper, did you ever see or hear the like? Can a man help
worshipping her? But for her, 'Francesca' would have been hissed.
I know it, I could see it, and now, I suppose, I shall be famous.
"Famous!" continued he, soliloquising. "Three months ago I would
have given the last drop of my blood for fame; and now, without
Clarissa, fame will be a mockery. Do you think I might have any
chance, the least chance?"
How could I answer him? The fog caught my breath as I tried to
stammer a reply, and Tom, misinterpreting my want of words, read his
condemnation.
"You do not? Of course, you do not; and you are right. Success has
intoxicated me, I suppose. I am not used to the drink!" and he
laughed a joyless laugh.
Then, with a change of mood, he caught my hat from off my head, and
set his own in its place.
"We will change characters for the nonce," he said, "after the
fashion of Falstaff and Prince Hal, and I will read myself a
chastening discourse on the vanity of human wishes. 'Do thou stand
for me, and I'll play my father.' Eh, Jasper?"
"'Well, here I am set,'" quoted I, content to humour him.
"Well, then, I know thee; thou art Thomas Loveday, a beggarly Grub
Street author, i' faith, a man of literature, and wouldst set eyes
upon one to whom princes fling bouquets; a low Endymion puffing a
scrannel pipe, and wouldst call therewith a queen to be thy bride.
Out upon thee for such monstrous folly!"
In his voice, as it came to me through the dense gloom, there rang,
for all its summoned gaiety, a desperate mockery hideous to hear.
"Behold, success hath turned thy weak brain. But an hour agone
enfranchised from Grub Street, thou must sing 'I'd be a butterfly.'
Thou art vanity absolute, conceit beyond measure, and presumption out
of all whooping. Yea, and but as a fool Pygmalion, not content with
loving thine own handiwork, thou must needs fall in love with the
goddess that breathed life into its stiff limbs; must yearn, not for
Galatea, but for Aphrodite; not for Francesca, but for--Ah!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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